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Mar 5:18  As Jesus was getting into the boat, the man who had been demon-possessed kept begging him to let him go with him.
Mar 5:19  But Jesus wouldn't let him. Instead, he told him, "Go home to your family, and tell them how much the Lord has done for you and how merciful he has been to you."

I'm back home. I really enjoyed my adventure. Like the man that had been demon possessed Jesus sent me home. What's strange about the whole matter is that Florida felt like home while I was there. Now that I'm back to my colorful apartment with the nine foot ceilings and purple couch I realize that I'm home. I missed my apartment. I think it missed me too. Judging by the drawers with clothes hanging out, stove with one of the eyes pulled out like it lost a fist fight, and colorful pillows thrown on the floor; I think a little TLC is in order. Worse case scenario it may be suffering with abandonment issues: in that case intense therapy. I'm just glad to be home.

I'm back home more in love with Jesus. I think I fall more in love with Him everyday. I had such a wonderful time with my friends. I was treated like royalty, like the daughter of the King. Because I am the daughter of the King. Jesus said go home and tell your family how much the Lord has done for you and how merciful He has been to you. I don't know where to start. I spent time in St. Augustine from there I, from there I sit by the pool in Ormond by the Sea. Then to Daytona Beach where I spent my time overlooking the ocean. I walked on my friend's pier where we watched the dolphins swim. From there I was treated to a weekend at a Boca Raton resort. We had massages, drank high price coffee and had breakfast on the deck. I spent one Friday night in Orlando at the Voice of the Apostles conference. I received gifts of jewelry, clothing, and electronic gadgets, but most of all I received the gift of love. I missed my friends. The Lord is so tender toward me. My sister-in-law said to me, "Your friends spoil you." I told her, "My Abba spoil me!" 

I'm back home full of the joy of the Lord. I have my instructions from Jesus. I know what I'm to do. I enjoyed my R&R time to get back to work. My family in the building need what I have to give. Back to ministry. First things first, tomorrow I clean my apartment.

Fearless

Trembling Faith

Zep 3:17  The LORD thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; he will save, he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee with singing. 

Zep 3:18  I will gather them that are sorrowful for the solemn assembly, who are of thee, to whom the reproach of it was a burden. 

Zep 3:19  Behold, at that time I will undo all that afflict thee: and I will save her that halted, and gather her that was driven out; and I will get them praise and fame in every land where they have been put to shame. 

I'm still in Florida. All of last week we have been nonstop moving. Last week my sister from Chattanooga came down for our annual Sisters Weekend. We spent much of our time in the pool, and on the beach. We laughed hysterically, looked at old photos and reminisced.  Sisters Weekend lasted a whole week. All was good until I went to Orlando with a friend of mine. When I came back my sisters were annoyed at my sister-in-law. My sister-in-law came down with me. She lives in Detroit. When I was in Detroit, I went to visit her and my brother. Their marriage is in tatters. She was in the bed crying her eyes out. I prayed for her and I asked her to come to Lexington with me to get away for awhile. She made it a week before my Florida trip.

She mostly slept at my place. I didn't mind. I know how my Abba works, it is his plan to bring salvation to my brother household(something I have been praying for for years). She came to the bible study and had a great time. She started calling the people who attend the study, my cute little family. They are my cute little family. Before I left Lexington to come to Florida, Abba spoke to me and said for me to bring her to Florida with me that He would save her there and she will go back and be a light that would bring salvation to her family. He kept His word as I knew he would. On the first Sunday in Florida we attended my sister Jill's church. Lena went up during a altar call, and right there in front of all present he filled her with his precious Holy Spirit. 

I cried, mainly because He never cease to amaze me, and another is because He loves us so much. He's so faithful with His promises. All He ask of us is to hear His voice and follow him. I heard Him and I followed Him, Lena heard and followed. Since then we have been working in my sister Jill ministry. They recently moved into a new building. We have been helping in the decorating, and flag making. Lena look like a new person. She's radiantly beautiful with the Spirit of the Most High God. I on the other hand can't stop crying. My tears are not tears of sadness, but tears of joy that words cannot express.

I also know how easily a infant christian can be wounded by older more experienced Christians. As soon as I heard my sisters complaints about Lena, I went into overprotective mother hen modus-operandi. As much as I love my sisters I must admit they still need Jesus to cook them a little longer in their love walk. I called a good friend of mine and asked her if we could stay at her place for a couple of days. I know it's not time for us to leave yet. Abba need to strengthen us a little more. He's been dealing with me on a number of issues. I left my sister's home quickly. I must protect my Abba's babies.

Since I left Michigan and even before I went. I struggled with trusting Him with my child and grandchildren. I had beggy prayers concerning them. On my first week in Michigan my three year old granddaughter( my twin) and I were in the yard "killing mushroom," (her words). The Lord spoke to me and asked me if she was precious to me. My whole heart said, YES. She's so sweet and precious to me. He said, "she's more precious to me." Still a few weeks later I begged Him to keep them safe. I had got to the point of worry over my babies, all of them. They are my greatest blessings and I have to trust my Father with them as I take care of His babies, because that's His promise to me. If I take care of His and He will take care of mine.

The other thing He dealt with me about is calling what I do a bible study. He told me to call it what it is- a Ministry. Every time I said ministry I would correct myself and say bible study. I didn't check myself and ask why I did that. He told me why since I've been in Florida. He say I haven't fully committed myself to His work and if I say ministry that means It will cost me something, and if I said bible study I can walk away or quit whenever I felt like it. He told me he desires my whole-heart and from now on I must say ministry. I know that's one reason I was sent here. He emptied me on purpose. Jesus said we must first count up the cost. My cross has been heavy. I first had to get through my good christian friends getting on me for not having a church home or covering. In their eyes I'm a ragamuffin vigilante. No way could God send me. I trust Abba with that too. He will let me know when and where to go. They feel that I need to be like them, and never leave the comfort of being a church member. I should only witness and bring souls to someone else to teach them. They have spent the last twenty or thirty years in discipleship. I dare to follow Jesus and went to make more disciples. I stepped outside the church doors to a dying word. I walked past their whispers and frowns. It's not the first time I have had to do that. That's part of the cost of following Jesus.

I did have a dream yesterday. I was praying and I suddenly felt too tired to do anything, but lay down. I tried to work in my sisters yard. I almost fell out. My legs felt like lead. I realized that when this has happened in prayer before it was Abba's way of getting past the noise and monkey chatter in my head. He wanted me to sleep so that He could tell me something. I finally laid down. I had a dream of a ministry and even a name of a women who is to help and cover me. During the time that I have been in Florida the church next door to the building I live in has decided that we have to come to the church to have our bible study. We can no longer take their table and chairs. I have been worried and my faith has been trembling or "halted" faith for a few months now. Sometimes Abba has to wrestle the trembling out of us. Love never fails. He doesn't want me to tremble with fear that He might not do what He has promised. Or to fear being a failure. He wants our trust to be for the mere fact that we know He's faithful.

One of my friends here in Florida gave me the above scripture. He sings over us. He even has promises for me with my halting faith.

Fearless

My Florida Adventure 2

It's been six days since I took off on my Florida Adventure. On adventures you should always expect the unexpected. Living with the Holy Spirit is like an adventure. I never know what He's going to do. I prayed for refreshing while I'm away from the bible study. Lately I have felt empty in the bible study. It's been harder and harder to separate myself from ministry.To be honest the time with my family was hard. I went back to my people tired and desperately in need of some R&R.  I have an excellent spiritual support team in Florida. I call them for prayer, encouragement and to just let off steam. Right now I need to be surrounded by them.
Not to mention my love for the ocean. The beach is my favorite place to pray; it's the place I go to reflect on how small I am and how big my God is. It's easy to put things in perspective when I see the vast blue of the ocean and the sky.

Yesterday on my adventure my friend Wendy daughter planned are day. Our day started early. The first thing on her agenda was a trip to Ripley's Believe It or Not museum in St Augustine. We had a ball. We sit on a big wooden chair called a Love Meter. As soon as you put two quarter (of course you have to pay to check your love meter) the chair started shaking, your whole body gets shaken. I started to laugh hysterically because it tickled me, Wendy  kept rubbing her nose with her thumb and index finger saying "I feel it in my nose," Lena sit straight up as if being somehow soothed, and said "This is nice." My love meter ended on Tease, Wendy's ended on Cold, and Lena ended with Passionate. After that we took pictures with creepy looking wax figures. I took a picture with Alligator man. Some guy that hunted alligators and had a plate of false teeth made of gator teeth. Some of the things were creepy some very cool art work, like dresses made of news paper or jelly bean art and an all candy portrait of Elvis. The tour took us about two hours. We laughed the whole time. We had our hands dipped in hot wax and impression made from them.

After the tour we took a ride on the red train around the ST Augustine. We even went to the fountain of youth. There we met The Senator; a 600 year old oak. I thought I could probably use a small sip out of the fountain, but before I could get to it my eyes sighted one of the 35 peacocks that guard the area of the fountain. It's was magnificent in color and form. It never opened it's wing yet I was captivated by it's beauty. I figured the fountain was more myth than fact. It's just to many elderly people in St, Augustine. St Augustine brags of being the oldest continually occupied European city in the nation. It also boast of much bloodshed, We went on a daytime tour and a ghost tour at night. All most everywhere we stood we were told of some horrible battle or slaughter and how we were standing on once blood drenched ground. That felt creeping and weird and I couldn't help but wonder if like Abel whose brother Cain slew their blood was crying out from the ground. Each story made me sad. The story of the native Americans, the African slaves the French Huguenots. So much bloodshed in such a small place. Don't get me wrong it was a small rather quaint town, full of history and I loved the little shops and the horse and carriage rides, and all the little bed and breakfast. It also has some of the best restaurants, and the beach is huge.

However, the history only reminded me of the history of our nation, a history of hatred, injustice and vicious cruelty. So I started to pray and repent for all the innocent bloodshed of our nation. Not only on our soil, but the soil of many nations. America needs to repent.We need to fast and pray and turn to God with our whole heart. I disliked walking on ground someone else bled and died on. But it's there to remind us of that dark side of our nation. The side we overlook when we call ourselves a Christian nation. The side that stink in God's nostril. Despite the fact that I spent a great deal of my time praying we still had a great time in St. Augustine.
Fearless

My Florida Adventure

I'm in Florida. I have spent a couple of days getting reacquainted with the beach. I met up with one of my dearest friends Wendy. She moved from Florida to Boston a year before I left Florida. She visited me right before I was leaving to moved to Lexington. We sit at a restaurant named The Ocean Deck. On the Door it says. "No Ragamuffins or Cry Babies." I would have missed the fact that I wasn't allowed, being both ragamuffin and cry baby, but Wendy stopped me from entering. She looked at me and pointed to the sign and said, "Carlean you're not allowed." I told her it was blatant discrimination, I threaten to call a lawyer and sue. They must have heard my threat from the other side of the doors, because I got in without any trouble. The Maitre D laughed at me when I expressed my displeasure when he was seating us. Our favorite spot has always been the deck overlooking the Atlantic ocean. On the deck we usually eat coconut shrimp and a drink mojitos or margaritas. Abba said not to be drunk I don't think he begrudges us a drink. If you know you can't take a drink without getting drunk it's probably best not to touch it. Wendy always says, "We have a good life, don't we?" I will say."The best."

She live in an apartment on the beach in Boston. The day of the Boston Marathon bombing she called me before I could call her to let me know she's alright. Her friendship is one of the greatest blessing of my life. I love her like a sister. So, when she called and asked me to meet her in Florida. I did, even though my resources are limited and I have no idea when and how I will get home. My sister in law Lena is with me. Her and my brother are having problems at home. She needed to get away from her situation and breath. Her funds are limited as well. I told her and Wendy we're going top rename our trip. It's not a vacation. On vacation you plan ahead for lounging/sights to see/things to do. I call our trip an adventure and a faith trip. So far it has been great. We're camped out at Wendy's daughters home. They had a condo build in St. Augustine. It's beautiful. They have taken us to the best restaurants and to the beach. It's day four and we're really tried and old. Wendy has been sick and even though we talk on a regular basis, she has failed to tell me. I asked her why didn't she tell me she's sick,she said she didn't want to worry me. I don't know why it is that when we get sick we feel the need to protect the mental health of our love ones. I told her I would be fine, but I need to know what to pray for concerning her.

One of her daughters has a whole long day planned for us tomorrow, which include a trip to Ripley"s Believe it or not, a train ride, a zipline across a crocodile pond (which I adamantly refuse to do) and several other adventures. I don't have a clue what's going to happen. I do know we're off to a great start. Faith is blind and sometimes a whole lot of fun. Wendy and I just want to sit on the deck of the beach and reflex on how awesome our life is.

Fearless
(ziplining across crocodiles is foolish NOT Fearless)