Monday, January 28, 2008

Ain't I a woman

Lately I've been thinking about Sojourner Truth's famous "Ain't I a woman" speech. It was delivered at a Women's convention in Akron Ohio in 1881. I think about the courage she had as a former slave fighting for the rights of the "Women of the north and Negroes of the south". I've always loved the simplicity and wisdom of that great woman, of that great speech.
I remeber as a preteen during Afro American History month, our class was having a play. We were to choose a hero/heroine to speak on. I chose Sojourner Truth. I read all I could about her, I went to the library, and I searched through the many mostly unused encyclopedias my mother had purchased over the years. I finally came across her famous "Ain't I a woman" speech. I had found my hearts cry, we were kindred spirits. I would one day change my name to Sojourner and speak God's truth. I would be brave and fight oppression of all kind. I was twelve with such a stubborn determination that my daddy once proclaimed "I would die and go to hell for what I believed in". There is a long and winding road between twelve and forty-something. My journey has not been an easy one. My past is messy, full of sin and shame. I have been enslaved in my own lust. I have made many decisions built on fear; whose foundation crumbled under the weight of truth. I put my twelve years old dreams on a shelf for many years, they sat dusty and forgotten. Lately they have surfaced like the ghost of things past.
I think about the stirring of my heart for Sojourner Truth's story, she was born a slave. She worked her way out of slavery only to have her children sold into it. She fought and won freedom for her son. She was beat and forbid to marry the only man she ever loved. She was forced to marry another. She was enslaved by force..I was enslaved mostly by choice. Like Sojourner I "talk to the Lord and he talks to me". And like her I am a sojourner in a place that not my home. I've been a outcast and a rebel. My courage was replaced by passivity and fear. My truth has been silence by the shame of bad decisions and fear of rejection. And yet like Sojouner he speaks to me. He said tell the truth. Sojourner stood bold in the face of her oppressor and proclaimed freedom in Jesus name, She stood up against the religious spirit. Isn't that the same spirit that crucified Jesus, that has caused many babes in Christ to run away from the religious community never to return. The same spirit that told me to sit down and shut up when the fire of God burned deep in my heart. That fire is no longer a smothering heap of ashes from the past. He has put a fresh fire inside of my heart. And it burns with desire for the truth of my beloved. Sojourner is America's Mother of truth. I'm the daughter of grace. Her life was a testimony of freedom in Christ, mine is a testimony of grace and redemption and freedom. "Tell the truth", those words echo in my heart. My daddy had it wrong I wont die and go to hell for what I believe, I will die and go home..I'm a sojourner, and ain't I a woman?

Fearless