Counting My Blessings!!!

Today I celebrate my Birthday. For my birthday I decided to count my blessing. I first counted my nieces whom I share living quarters Aziza , Abbie and Nia.  I gave them gifts. What wonderful young women they have turned out to be. Then I celebrated my nephew Kamau twice. He fell off a 50ft parking structure a little over a month ago. His survival is a miracle and the rate that's he's healing is even more miraculous. I went to the hospital today to tell him how much he mean to me. I took him two balloons and a heart full of love.

I think I'll invite homeless Mike to my birthday dinner that my sister insist on preparing for me. She doesn't know it yet, but I have a special gift for her. I have a genuine turquoise and diamond necklace and earring set. She loves turquoise, just last week she expressed a desire for genuine turquoise-like me. How can I not give her something that mean so much to her? I have not worn it in probably-five years.

I talked to me son, he's my greatest blessing of them all. What a wonderful man. I have to think of a way to make this day special for him, my mother and my four beautiful grandbabies. I received so many birthday blessing on facebook and email. I love my community of internet friend, which includes everyone that read fearless reflection. Thank you for taking the time to read my sometimes outrageous, sometimes pitiful, and most times a bit crazy post. I get to share my heart and Abba's love with you and that is a blessing. I love you and you are my blessing.

Birthday's are fun when you count your blessing and they keep coming to your mind. My heart is shouting thank you Father. I appreciate everyone of my blessings. The day is still young, I have so much love to give. See you soon.

LOVE
Fearless

I'm Back

I know it's been a while since I posted. The last couple of months have been pretty busy for me. I spent more time in prayer and ministry. It's been quite a spiritual ride for me. I still feel this self-conscious inadequacy, which makes it easy to rely solely on the Holy Spirit. I'm always amazed at the fact that people think I'm so confident in ministry or counseling. I shared my uncertainty and fears. I was pleasantly surprised at her response. She said I have never been afraid of anything, and she couldn't believe that I suffered the same insecurities as some others. I have always told her that courage is not so much as, not having fears, but doing it in spite of the fears, never give fear a resting place.

I moved back to Lexington. It's still difficult to live next door to a bar where people will attempt to sell stolen televisions in your yard. Last week there was a stabbing, I witnessed the incident. It was young women fighting. Several women beat this young woman. She chased them with a knife. One was stabbed. It grieved my heart to watch women who have probably been abused there whole lives abuse each other. I prayed, cried and called  the police. By the time the police got there the crowd had disbursed. The police came back the next day and told me the girl that was stabbed went to the hospital. She's alright; she was not seriously injured. Despite everything going on around me, I gain strength in the Lord and the power of his might.

My sister Claudia and I planted a garden, vegetable and flowers. I love the flower garden most of all right now, but that's subject to change when the vegetable produce it's delicious rewards. The flower garden surrounds rose bushes, one red and the other a bright orangy/pink and gorgeous. Our flowers are a symphony of colors; lavender, purple, red, fuschia, pink and yellow. I love out little garden and it's gives the house that stand-alone peace in the midst of chaos look and feel. We met our neighbors recently. They saw us working hard to plant our flower garden and some came to help. Claudia is surprised that neighbors that barely spoke before has come out in support of us. We even have a neighborhood homeless guy that sleeps in the bushes between our house and the bar(on the bar property) that left the bushes to pitch in. It used to feel creepy to have him in the bushes, but now he just Mike the homeless guy in the bushes. Like a eccentric cousin that lives in the attic. My sister invited him in during the winter months, but he refused to take a shower and left a scent in her couch that made her trash it. So after a few weeks she asked him to leave. She took him to a homeless shelter, but he found his way to the bushes after a couple of days. When it rains he sleeps in the backyard under our shed.

All and all I find contentment in Jesus, in the midst of all the hurt, pain and chaos of my surroundings. It's far from the beauty of the suburb that I am accustom too, but it's where the greatest need for ministry is. It's where I have found God's good, perfect and pleasing will. It's where love resides.

Fearless