Jesus Wild Women

Yesterday the prostitute my sister and I have been ministering to looked at us and said, "I can hardly believe you're Christians. You look a little wild." Every time I think of that statement I laugh out loud. I know she didn't mean it as an insult, though some Christians would have taken it as one.

Sunday morning was rather warm outside so I stepped outside to the benches on the side of the apartment for a little fresh air. Before long many of the male tenants in the building were sitting with me. They were respectful, helpful and filling me in on the gossip mongers in the building. I know they wanted to be helpful, so I didn't call them out on their own gossip(though I made a mental note in my head). As I was sitting there a few of the women in the building came out of the church next door. I complimented them on how nice they looked in their (what I call church gear). They had on their big over-sized hats with matching long skirt sets. They looked like Christians.

My sister and I don't wear the big hats and matching ensembles. As a matter of fact we promised each other not to EVER allow anyone to dress us like that, even if we're dead. I can't think of any outfit I hate less. One little old women coming out of the church asked me why didn't I come to church Sunday morning. I told her I didn't know what time it started. She gave me a self-righteous look, and said it's started at 11:00 am and next Sunday she would knock on my door to pick me up so that I can sit with her on the "FRONT," pew. I knew that was her way of saying I did not look like a Christian.

Two different people both saying the same thing. One said it in love the other said it in hypocrisy. We had dinner with the prostitute, she visits us a lot, mostly because we give her unconditional love and support. She didn't mean it as an insult. We probably don't look like the Christians she has run across. We wear bright and stylish clothing, lipstick and big earrings. My sister has tattoos and piercings. We eat with the prostitutes and sit on the side of the building with the sinners. We get judged by the religious. We stand on corners praying with the prostitutes and homeless. We are about our Father's business. I can think of nothing I want to do less than sit on the front pew of a church building wearing an over-sized hat and self-righteous indignation scrawled on my face.

I like being Jesus's wild women. I told my sister that we look like Grace.

Fearless

The New Apartment

Once again I'm moving to yet another apartment. Last month I gave away all my furniture that has been in storage for a year and a half in Florida. I got tired of paying each month for furniture I could not afford to transfer across several states. I sat down today, and started thinking about how many times I've started over. I first moved away from home at the age of eighteen. When most girls my age are starting college, I was starting a family. I had a live-in boyfriend named John and our son Jason.

 I was young and immature, but responsible. I still remember the darkness of those days. the fights, the verbal abuse that John heaped on me by the truck loads. I took it trying to keep my family together. Like most abused women I tried to be perfect,  although my mind, will and emotions were in complete chaos, and most days my tiny young body badly bruised.  We both worked and sometimes two jobs. We drank cheap liquor and fought on the weekends. From outward opinion we were the perfect young couple. We had a well kept beautiful house(that my grandmother gave me) a new Lincoln Continental and we were always buying the latest gadgets. Inwardly we both were fighting our own demons. One night after eight years I left taking only my son and the clothes on my back. Against all odds I got a three bedroom ranch style house that same night. It was fully furnished.

That was my first time, this is the fourth. The next three were not as painful or dramatic, but each time I've been like the character "Much Afraid," in the allegory Hinds Feet for High Places.
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The apartment has a two year waiting list and I got it in two weeks. I thought I would have time to at least save some cash or pay off some credit. I should have known better. God spoke to me and said that he needed me to give myself over to prayer, fasting and studying his word. I guess my time with my sister and her children are over. I'm only moving a mile and a half away. The children are sad to see me go. They begged me to stay.  It is hard to say no to them. I learned a long time ago you have to be willing to let all else go to follow Jesus. He wants all of me. Even in an empty apartment.

It doesn't matter: I will follow Jesus anywhere and under any conditions. We're in the season of God's High Holy days. It has taken me quite a few days to finish this post. Mostly, because the packing and moving. Then I had to get the internet setup in my apartment. I know it's no coincidence that I get these complete changes during that started on the Week of Rosh Hashanah( New Beginnings) and during The Ten Days of Repentance before Yom Kippur(Day of Atonement).

I knew the apartment building was renovated for the elderly and disabled. Though I have been medically discharged from working for two years; my mind never really registered that I am now considered disabled. One small heart issue and now I have a new label, more challenges to face, more prejudice to overcome, but worse than that I have my own prejudice to overcome. When I filled out the application for the apartment. There were no residents in the hall. When I moved in there's several people in the hall in wheelchairs and on walkers. I thought about my life a few short years ago and even in the last couple of years. I thought about the apartment I lived in a couple of years ago, with pool, exercise room, and Jacuzzi for young yuppies. I complained as if I were going into a nursing home. I told my sister it was the smell of disinfect and, "old people,"that bothered me most, but really it's pride and prejudice. I hate it when those little foxes that hide in my heart show up. It's hard to come face to face with my own sin. It's much easier to look at someone else and find fault.

I wish I could say I was grateful, humble and praising God for my blessings.

I wasn't...

I'm glad I get ten days of repentance, I need each one of them.

Fearless

Just a Reminder

Mat 5:10  Blessed are they that have been persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Mat 5:11  Blessed are ye when men shall reproach you, and persecute you, and say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.
Mat 5:12  Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets that were before you.

I pray for my persecuted brother and sisters everywhere, GREAT is your reward in Heaven!

A Wake up call for the Western Church

Last week I started the bible study. I Prayed, fast and cried out for God's Glory to flow unhindered in the Western Church. Over the last twenty years I have watched as the church went from one crazy new doctrine, or as they call it manifestation after another. I have been in services that bored me to tears. I have been in churches that used emotional blackmail to raise money. I sat in church for years asking Jesus why our service lacked any miracles or healing, why did the blind and lame come and not get healed. I watched as cliques formed and the less fortunate were (or new converts) treated as lepers. I was one of those ostracized ones. I left the church many days wondering why the people of God were so mean and arrogant.  I wanted to know all I could about Jesus. Like the disciple Andrew I followed Jesus asking, "Were do you live?" I know that the church is still being persecuted around the world. People are still dying for their faith. It's sad to say but, too many of the churches in America are full of apostasy, hypocrisy and just plain old lukewarm. I have misrepresented and dishonored Jesus to many times myself over the years. It's time to give our hearts to Jesus and be willing to die for our faith. I see the signs that soon it will be a great persecution, to the true followers of Jesus everywhere. We're already being considered haters for speaking out against abortion, homosexuality, witchcraft and many other sins. To tell someone about Jesus's love and blood sacrifice that cleanse us from sin is not hatred it's love. Let the redeemed of the Lord say so. I'm tired of church as usual. Jesus is coming back for a church without blemish spot or wrinkle. It's time to fast and pray, take our children back out of the hands of the enemy, and lead as many as we can to the truth.  I had one woman that came to the bible study Friday that I had met on the street a couple of days before. She was standing on the corner with all her earthly possessions. Her bounty consisted of a black plastic bag half full of clothes, a dirty red decorative pillow, and a scented candle. She actually stopped my sister and I and asked us if we wanted anything of hers. I told her, "no those are your things." She said we could have anything we want. My sister asked her if she wanted prayer. Usually I would be the one that ask, but my mind was focused on me moving to my own apartment(the cares of the world). I prayed for her and gave her the phone number and invited her to the bible study. Jesus did something for her that night. She calls me daily to give me a report on where she slept, how she ate, and finally she didn't have to let anyone do unspeakable things to her for it. She's resting in Jesus. She also calls when she sees another soul in need of a healing touch from Jesus for me to pray for them. We live in a hurting decaying society. Share love today, God is love, tell someone that Jesus loves them, pray with them. Fearless