This is beautiful

Song by an eight year old girl as a tribute to our troops.

If I wrote a note to God
I would speak whats in my soul
I'd ask for all the hate to be swept away,
For love to overflow
If I wrote a note to God
I'd pour my heart out on each page
I'd ask for war to end
For peace to mend this world
I'd say, I'd say, I'd say

Give us the strength to make it through
Help us find love cause love is over due
And it looks like we haven't got a clue
Need some help from you
Grant us the faith to carry on
Give us hope when it seems all hope is gone
Cause it seems like so much is goin wrong
On this road we're on

If I wrote a note to God
I would say what on my mind
I'd ask for wisdom to let compassion rule this world
Until these times
If I wrote a note to God
I'd say please help us find our way
End all the bitterness, put some tenderness in our hearts
And I'd say, I'd say, I'd say

Give us the strength to make it through
Help us find love cause love is over due
And it looks like we haven't got a clue
Need some help from you
Grant us the faith to carry on
Give us hope when it seems all hope is goneCause it seems like so much is goin wrong
On this road we're on


No, no no no
We can't do this on our own
So


Give us the strength to make it through
Help us find love cause love is over due
And it looks like we haven't got a clue
Need some help from you
Grant us the faith to carry on
Give us hope when it seems all hope is gone
Cause it seems like so much is goin wrong
On this road we're on


If I wrote a note to God

Seeking

Deu 4:29 "If from there you will seek the LORD your God, then you will find him if you seek him with all your heart and soul.

I remember once being asked, if I have every had five star experiences with God. At first I didn't know what they meant by five star experiences. They said experiences that defied human logic. I wonder if there is any other kind of experiences you could have with him. I said yes and I started naming a few.

I told of the time Jesus showed me his face. He isn't handsome in the way society considers handsome, but he is beautiful. I knew at that moment that he is my beloved even though I felt unworthy and sinful. His eyes are soft and pleading not to be rejected. I could tell he is a man of sorrow. How sad it must be to love a people so completely that you would suffer great torment and death to save them from that same fate, and they reject you. That made me sad, but seeing his face filled me with an overwhelming sense of joy. The silly giggly kind of joy that's contagious and before you know it everyone that comes in contact with you are laughing with you(or at you but it doesn't matters).

I once had my car stolen and lost a job in the same week. Life felt like a real bummer, I was depressed, worried, afraid and every other bad emotion you can feel. To make matters worse, I lived next door to my landlord and I didn't have her rent money. I hid in my bed like a fugitive, from my landlord,  and mostly from life. I cried myself to sleep almost ever night, I had only one prayer "Lord help me." I had eight dollars in my pocket and an overdrawn bank account. After a few days I ran out of food. I waited until I heard my landlord's car leave and I slipped out the house, looking around as if I were on a top secret government mission, instead of going to the market to see what food I could afford with my measly assets. I get to the market and I'm trying to decided if I should buy tomatoes or apples. As I try to find a firm tomato, I get this overwhelming sensation of love and joy. Then I hear the Lord say, "I am your portion." The feeling was so strong in my belly it made me double over and say "whoa." I tried to stop my body from reacting, but I couldn't, so I said, "stop it Lord, I'm in public." He continued his shameless love assault on me, until I shouted to a random stranger that God said, "I am your portion!"

From that point until I got a job a couple of months later I got  money from the strangest sources. I never had to ask anyone for anything. I used to just say, Father I'm out of money. Companies and agencies would call and tell me they owe me money and send it(hundreds of dollars) or people would call me and say they just felt like blessing me. I've had so many wonderful experiences.

I also experienced times when he feels distant. I don't hear from him. I despise those times. I have been known to cry and throw a tantrum. I once told him if he didn't say anything to me then I won't say anything to him and folded my arms and cried...Ha! manipulation don't work on Abba at all. Those are the times he wants you to seek him with your whole heart and soul. I have learned that Abba like us, want to be loved. Isn't that the greatest commandment? To love our God with all our heart and soul and mind. I can't think of anyone more worthy of my love. I wish my love wasn't so puny and fragmented. I want to give him love that's not selfish or lazy, that's my prayer for today. Father teach us how to love you the way that you want to be loved. I don't know how too.

Fearless

Torn To Pieces

"Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces."
—Matthew 7:6

I had the strangest conversation with the guy from my job. For many days I just ignored him. It was easier than trying to talk to him. Not because I held any hostility against him or anything(well maybe a little, but I didn't tell him to rot in hell). I just don't quite understand vicious and vile people. I always look for good in people even when they show otherwise, my sister Jill says I have too much mercy. I don't think it's such a thing as too much mercy. If it wasn't for God's tender mercy we would all be consumed. I thank God for mercy.

A few days ago the Lord spoke that scripture to me regarding what happened the day that guy verbally attacked me. I went to the scripture (Matthew 7), even though I understood the scripture I don't always understand Jesus's ways(they are higher than my ways). I know that he loves us all unconditionally, yet he calls some people names, like dogs, swine, whitewashed tombs, old foxes and generation of vipers. He doesn't pull punches and he's certainly not mealy-mouthed. I, however, am somewhat mealy-mouthed. I think I have adopted the attitude that name calling isn't Christian or loving. Don't get me wrong, I'm not promoting name calling as a Christian virtue. I'm just saying....

Anyway, I look up the scripture and it's part of the Sermon on the Mount. The chapter Jesus talks about judging and hypocrisy, and than right after that he says, ""Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces." I don't know about anyone else but I personally like to ask "what are you saying Lord?" Was I judging him? Am I a hypocrite?" I don't believe I was judging, because I spoke from a heart of love and a desire to see him set free. I asked Jesus to explain to me what he was saying, and how do you know when you're giving what's holy to the dogs and pigs.

This is what he said---

There are some men that are scoffers, they reject me and my word completely. There is no natural affection in them, their heart is evil continually. I asked you to give me your testimony and you have with much courage. Your past belongs to me as does your future. I am Holy and Eternal and whatever belongs to me is Holy and Eternal. You and your testimony are mine, which makes it Holy and Eternal. What man can stand before me and profane that which is Holy? Who can ascend my hill? Who can stand in my Holy place? Yes, I do equate these men to a dogs; wild dogs without a home or owner, feeding on the filth and garbage of the streets, quarreling among themselves and attacking everyone in their paths. Such is the wild boar. You see that attack as a persecution of you, but it's me he is after. I am an all consuming fire and I will not be mocked. There is no days off in my kingdom, my word says to crucify the flesh daily. I ask for complete obedience. How can you obey if you don't listen. Tell him to repent and be spared my wrath. Only say what I give you to say and no more.

So there you have it, I got in trouble for not listening and doing things in the flesh and not the spirit. My prayer life was off too. Instead of following the leading of the Holy Spirit I took that guys challenge of whom would convert the other. I lacked righteous judgment and discernment(I should have gotten the hint when he said he heard enough about Jesus). I gave someone whose heart was not ready, the holy pearls of God and he trampled them under his feet and turned and tore me to pieces (like a swine). I repented. He asked me to tell him to repent.

I prayed and asked for wisdom to know when to speak. I have to admit I was like Jonah was with the Assyrian city of Ninevah, in that I didn't want to go to him and warn him. There's this mean part of me that didn't care if God beats the hell out of him that's the mean fleshy part, but the part of me that matters, the obedient and loving daughter, knew I had to. The guy came to me and said he really liked me and he knew the things he said were mean and nasty, then he asked if I would be his friend. I listened and only spoke what I was instructed. I told him that God said my testimony belong to him and he should repent for defamation, accusation, persecution, prosecution and his character assassination. I said please repent to God and not me, and he said, thank you and that he would. I told him he's not in a place to be a friend to me and that we have nothing in common. He looks as if he would cry and said thank you again. Then he walked away and called me a false prophet under his breath, and I walked away, without telling him to rot in hell.

Fearless