Deu 4:29 "If from there you will seek the LORD your God, then you will find him if you seek him with all your heart and soul.
I remember once being asked, if I have every had five star experiences with God. At first I didn't know what they meant by five star experiences. They said experiences that defied human logic. I wonder if there is any other kind of experiences you could have with him. I said yes and I started naming a few.
I told of the time Jesus showed me his face. He isn't handsome in the way society considers handsome, but he is beautiful. I knew at that moment that he is my beloved even though I felt unworthy and sinful. His eyes are soft and pleading not to be rejected. I could tell he is a man of sorrow. How sad it must be to love a people so completely that you would suffer great torment and death to save them from that same fate, and they reject you. That made me sad, but seeing his face filled me with an overwhelming sense of joy. The silly giggly kind of joy that's contagious and before you know it everyone that comes in contact with you are laughing with you(or at you but it doesn't matters).
I once had my car stolen and lost a job in the same week. Life felt like a real bummer, I was depressed, worried, afraid and every other bad emotion you can feel. To make matters worse, I lived next door to my landlord and I didn't have her rent money. I hid in my bed like a fugitive, from my landlord, and mostly from life. I cried myself to sleep almost ever night, I had only one prayer "Lord help me." I had eight dollars in my pocket and an overdrawn bank account. After a few days I ran out of food. I waited until I heard my landlord's car leave and I slipped out the house, looking around as if I were on a top secret government mission, instead of going to the market to see what food I could afford with my measly assets. I get to the market and I'm trying to decided if I should buy tomatoes or apples. As I try to find a firm tomato, I get this overwhelming sensation of love and joy. Then I hear the Lord say, "I am your portion." The feeling was so strong in my belly it made me double over and say "whoa." I tried to stop my body from reacting, but I couldn't, so I said, "stop it Lord, I'm in public." He continued his shameless love assault on me, until I shouted to a random stranger that God said, "I am your portion!"
From that point until I got a job a couple of months later I got money from the strangest sources. I never had to ask anyone for anything. I used to just say, Father I'm out of money. Companies and agencies would call and tell me they owe me money and send it(hundreds of dollars) or people would call me and say they just felt like blessing me. I've had so many wonderful experiences.
I also experienced times when he feels distant. I don't hear from him. I despise those times. I have been known to cry and throw a tantrum. I once told him if he didn't say anything to me then I won't say anything to him and folded my arms and cried...Ha! manipulation don't work on Abba at all. Those are the times he wants you to seek him with your whole heart and soul. I have learned that Abba like us, want to be loved. Isn't that the greatest commandment? To love our God with all our heart and soul and mind. I can't think of anyone more worthy of my love. I wish my love wasn't so puny and fragmented. I want to give him love that's not selfish or lazy, that's my prayer for today. Father teach us how to love you the way that you want to be loved. I don't know how too.
Fearless
I remember once being asked, if I have every had five star experiences with God. At first I didn't know what they meant by five star experiences. They said experiences that defied human logic. I wonder if there is any other kind of experiences you could have with him. I said yes and I started naming a few.
I told of the time Jesus showed me his face. He isn't handsome in the way society considers handsome, but he is beautiful. I knew at that moment that he is my beloved even though I felt unworthy and sinful. His eyes are soft and pleading not to be rejected. I could tell he is a man of sorrow. How sad it must be to love a people so completely that you would suffer great torment and death to save them from that same fate, and they reject you. That made me sad, but seeing his face filled me with an overwhelming sense of joy. The silly giggly kind of joy that's contagious and before you know it everyone that comes in contact with you are laughing with you(or at you but it doesn't matters).
I once had my car stolen and lost a job in the same week. Life felt like a real bummer, I was depressed, worried, afraid and every other bad emotion you can feel. To make matters worse, I lived next door to my landlord and I didn't have her rent money. I hid in my bed like a fugitive, from my landlord, and mostly from life. I cried myself to sleep almost ever night, I had only one prayer "Lord help me." I had eight dollars in my pocket and an overdrawn bank account. After a few days I ran out of food. I waited until I heard my landlord's car leave and I slipped out the house, looking around as if I were on a top secret government mission, instead of going to the market to see what food I could afford with my measly assets. I get to the market and I'm trying to decided if I should buy tomatoes or apples. As I try to find a firm tomato, I get this overwhelming sensation of love and joy. Then I hear the Lord say, "I am your portion." The feeling was so strong in my belly it made me double over and say "whoa." I tried to stop my body from reacting, but I couldn't, so I said, "stop it Lord, I'm in public." He continued his shameless love assault on me, until I shouted to a random stranger that God said, "I am your portion!"
From that point until I got a job a couple of months later I got money from the strangest sources. I never had to ask anyone for anything. I used to just say, Father I'm out of money. Companies and agencies would call and tell me they owe me money and send it(hundreds of dollars) or people would call me and say they just felt like blessing me. I've had so many wonderful experiences.
I also experienced times when he feels distant. I don't hear from him. I despise those times. I have been known to cry and throw a tantrum. I once told him if he didn't say anything to me then I won't say anything to him and folded my arms and cried...Ha! manipulation don't work on Abba at all. Those are the times he wants you to seek him with your whole heart and soul. I have learned that Abba like us, want to be loved. Isn't that the greatest commandment? To love our God with all our heart and soul and mind. I can't think of anyone more worthy of my love. I wish my love wasn't so puny and fragmented. I want to give him love that's not selfish or lazy, that's my prayer for today. Father teach us how to love you the way that you want to be loved. I don't know how too.
Fearless
1 comment:
: )
Post a Comment