Finding refuge

Psalm 15

Living Bible (TLB)

15) Lord, who may go and find refuge and shelter in your tabernacle up on your holy hill?

2) Anyone who leads a blameless life and is truly sincere. 3) Anyone who refuses to slander others, does not listen to gossip, never harms his neighbor, 4) speaks out against sin, criticizes those committing it, commends the faithful followers of the Lord, keeps a promise even if it ruins him, 5) does not crush his debtors with high interest rates, and refuses to testify against the innocent despite the bribes offered him—such a man shall stand firm forever.

So much has been going on around me lately. I had started allowing to many into my inner circle. Don't get me wrong there is nothing wrong with expanding your inner circle, the problem come with who you allow in. Being a Spirit filled Christian; your inner circle should be only Spirit lead Christians. I had start getting to close to a lot of the people that attend the ministry, where I'm usually a cross between saintly mother and stern school mum, I had become buddy and friend. The transition was difficult to say the least. I felt uncomfortable, during the Christmas Holiday they cursed, and swore more than Peter when denying Jesus.

They got drunk, repeated the same thing over and over all the while hitting and tapping on me to make sure I heard them. However, none of that bothered me as much as their gossip, it was malicious, cruel and disgusting. Before long I found myself joining in the conversation. I didn't gossip, but I did voice my opinion. In no time I quickly became one of them. I didn't start off to conform, I started off to transform. How quickly we can step out of the will of God. All we have to do give a place in our life to the devil. I got angry at the one who calls herself the devil's advocate and that's mostly who I discussed in a not so pleasant light. I fueled the fire for the slandering tongues, I used to give gentle rebukes and stern warnings, now I listened just so I could have a few cheerleaders against the one who was coming against me.

I ignored the check I got in my spirit when I started talking. The holy Spirit warned me. the only reason I was upset at the way she talked to me; was because of pride. I was told to forgive, because sin was lurking at the door of my heart. I ignored the warning. I talked. I complained, I made friends with nonbelievers and or babes in Christ. I sinned and when sin is accomplished it brings forth death. I felt a dark heaviness around me. My soul longed for God. Yet I felt far from him as if a cloud of darkness stood between us. It was an awful time. Then I cried out to Abba, first I asked him to grant me genuine repentance. I cried out for the blood of Jesus to cleanse me, I didn't stop until I felt the heavens open up.

I renewed my vows to Abba. I taught against gossip, slander and not covering offense with love. I apologized to everyone I defiled with my bitter words against my offender. I repented openly and honesty. I rebuked the gossip. Some got upset with me, but mostly my being willing to be transparent did something for all of us that night. I gave the Holy Spirit His rightful place. I read Psalm 15. I'm without excuse, Abba made it plain in his word who can stand firm forever. I want to be counted among that number.

fearless

Triumphing Mercy

I'm back from  a long hiatus. My computer died on me. It was quite unexpected and very tragic. One night without warning; it made a loud sigh and it's whole system shut down. I cried, beg it not to leave me-take me with you. I beat on it, blow my breath into it, all to no avail. My friend in Michigan sent me his slightly used laptop. I was able to get online, but the keypad skipped with made it difficult to type. For two months my beautiful purple baby sit collecting dust on top of my dresser. I dusted off today and prayed "please Lord help me fix it." I went off the grid for awhile, but I felt like writing today. So I hit f11 until I got a screen asking if I wanted to restore to factory-which I heard will fix most problems. She came back to life. and so have I.

A few days ago my sister asked on Facebook, "What your word of the year." I never had a word of the year so I asked Abba for a word. He told me the word for the year for all of his people is Mercy. That this is a year that we should be crying out for mercy. I thought the word over in my head-mercy, huh. What a strange word for a society of cheap grace, seeker friendly, name it claim it churches. Do we even consider the fact that we need mercy? Not only do we need it,we need to give it. In the book of James, James is teaching the new disciples against preferring the rich over the poor. He says we must show mercy in order to be judged by God with mercy. I love what he says next-

James 2:13

English Standard Version (ESV)

13 For judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment.

That's right Mercy triumphs judgment. I don't know why Abba gave me that word, I do know we can all use His mercy. I have known a couple Christians that because of their good works and hidden self-righteousness, say that they really don't need mercy. I know from personally experience we can get so caught up in the good we do that we forget how awful and sinful we really are. I watched as both of them fell (big ugly scandalous falls). I knew it was the mercy of God they weren't consumed when they fell. It was also His mercy that picked them up when they couldn't do it for themselves, Mercy really doe triumph over judgment.