Adoption: part three

One of the children from the school and his girlfriend started asking me if it was okay to visit me on the weekend.  Although I liked my weekend to be stress free, I said yes. All week James seemed excited about visiting me that weekend. He kept asking me if I changed my mind, can he still come. His excitement was infectious and I found myself trying to come up with ways to make sure they would have something to do. To be honest I can be a rather boring person. I listen to worship music and talk about Jesus all day. That would have to do. And that's exactly what I did.

It didn't seem to matter to the children. I would pray for them, reprove, rebuke and cook for or order them pizza. They never failed to tell me these horror tales. I don't think I listened as intently as I should have. Mainly because I couldn't believe tales of people being tortured, who would peel someone skin off. Then one cloudy, humid day as the children sat in my backyard telling me horror tales. I walked in the house to get them some lemonade. When I returned, their eyes were big as saucers, they actually looked afraid. As I handed them their lemonade they asked me, You won't tell anybody what we have told you, will you?

It was at that very minute, I realized that they were telling me the truth. I also realized what God told me in the dream, he said there were witchcraft, child molestation, child sacrifice and every evil work. I would like to think of myself as brave and self-sacrificing, but I'm not. I wanted those kids and their demonized families far removed from me. I couldn't wait until they left that day. That following day, I spoke to all my Christian friends and asked what I should do about the situation. I was told that the devil sent those kids to me and that I shouldn't have anymore contact with them, but I should pray about it. That sounded like a plan to me.

Ha! Life in Christ is never cut and dry is it? I prayed and Jesus said, "feed my lamb." I tried to explain to him that this was way over my head. He repeated, "feed my lamb." So I decided to do as he requested. He didn't mind that I am the least qualified for the task. The children started visiting every weekend. Things went on that way for several weeks. Than one weekend James told me he has an Alter-ego who hurt people. He say he didn't want him to try and hurt me, and that he said (The Alter) I was trying to take him away from him. The demon was mad at me. I knew it was only a demon. I asked James when did he get this Alter-ego. He told me when he was six. I knew it came in through trauma. I asked what happened to him when he was six. He didn't want to talk about it. So I didn't press it.

I told him I wasn't afraid of his Alter-ego. I asked James to ask Jesus in his heart as his Lord and Savior. He did. That really made the demon mad. I repeated that I wasn't not scared of that demon. The next thing I know James face is distorted, his eyes have really dark circles and he look like pure evil. He has a sharp pointed instrument in his hand, poised to attack me with. He said in the most frightening voice I ever heard. F**k GOD. The first thing I remember feeling is heart-pounding fear. However I didn't run like my flesh told me to. There's a braver me that came forth and said in an authoritarian voice, "Drop it! and with shaky hands, he dropped the instrument. I knew at that moment, greater that is in me then that is in the world. The demon had to do as I said. I thanked the demon for protecting James when he was to small to protect himself, and I said Jesus will protect him from that day forward. I called him a trespasser and demanded that he go. I could hear him leave, it was like he went out the window, but not before telling me it's not that easy.

When I looked back over at James he looked like a angel. He was absolutely glowing, his face was sweet and innocent. I had never saw him like that before. He looked at me and asked, "mama, what just happened?" He was elated, he grabbed me and hugged me tighter than anyone had ever hugged me. I was still to shook-up to even attempt to explain. I had no explanation, except, Jesus is Lord! I still had much work to do with these children. This is only the beginning.

Fearless

I am being my best

Sometimes that rat part of my brain, you know the part that the demons like to speak to. Well, it tells me that I am the worst writer in the world. The worse are the writer who refuse to write, because they think they're not good enough. Ha! I don't fit in that category and I am glad. Today I am a writer! Because I wrote something.

Fearless 

I started a novel

Okay I started a novel a few days ago. This is my forth attempt. For one reason or another I lost my first three.I am determined to finish this time. I don't work, I have a small income and a quiet place to write. What more can I ask for. I also started writing a new journal. It's a prayer journal or my journey of asking. A couple of years ago upon arising one morning the Lord spoke to me and said, ASK. A year before that he said, my people have it wrong, they want me to bless them financially and I don't mind prospering my people. My word says ask and I will give you the nations as an inheritance and the utmost parts of the earth as a possession.

Now I think it's time I do as I have been instructed. I started a journey of asking a few weeks ago. I knew it feels a little selfish, but it's really hidden pride that's trying to stop me. I am not used to asking for stuff. Not from people and not from God. Well, I do ask God in desperation. Apparently he wants me to learn to depend on him for everything. I will come here periodically and write, but as you can see my plate is full. I also have another publisher and an editor. I will update here my blog as often as I can. This is my practice area where I don't have to dot my I's and cross my T's. Pray for me and see you soon.
Fearless

Adoption: part two

Luk 10:19  Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you.

This post is an continuation of Adoption part one. I had to pray to find out how much I can share concerning the children. Some of them are still under the authority of their parents, and disclosing what they have shared with me could put them in danger.

Father in the name of Jesus, I bind all demonic and second heaven activity, all principalities are dethroned, all power and ruler spirits assignments are nullified and voided by the precious blood of Jesus and in the power of his name. I cancel any and all assignment that would come to oppose my assignment. The blood of Jesus cover the children, the readers and me. Father I ask you to cut off the head of the python that has been released against our divine destiny. Let revelation, wisdom and knowledge reside in your people, in the mighty name of Jesus. I decree and declare that all curses are rendered harmless and of no effect in Jesus name. I bind backlash, repercussion and payback in Jesus name.

 Jesus is LORD.

I'm sitting in front of the building where I work, praying when one of the children come up to me and introduce himself; James a tall handsome Tom Cruise look-a-like. He seems like the ringleader or if not he has a lot of leadership qualities. He's hyper and loud-mouthed and a bit of a show-off. He ask my name and I tell him. Then he states matter of fact that he has been the victim of rape. What do you say when a stranger walks up to you and gives you personal information of a traumatic event? I, being a rape survivor myself, who by the way told it in the book Sistahfaith, said, "I'm sorry I know first hand how painful that is, did you ever receive help?" I know he was out to shock me with his story. I used to get shocked, but by then I had heard too many stories. I no longer feel the shock, just that instant jolt of deep sadness and empathy.

The book Sistahfaith had just hit the shelf. Although I have told my story at conferences. I was eager to talk about it, there was no more shame, just a deep abiding love for Jesus for healing me from the pain and brokenness. I wanted to lead James to the well of living water.  I told him my story and asked to pray for him. He let me pray for him, and we both went our separate ways, me inside to my job, and him next door to school. Everyday after that he would stop and talk to me. He told me who the person was that raped him. It was a friend of the family. He was thirteen and she was in her fifties. I was however shocked that it was a woman. I still find it hard to imagine. I have since learned he was telling the truth. He started telling me all kind of tales of what can only be first described as horrible, tragic or just plain crazy. I thought he was lying to get attention. Everything about this kid screamed for attention, acceptance and love. I don't think I have ever talked to anyone as love hungry as him. At first, I thought he may have been trying to scare me or impress me.

He told me he had a family secret and that it had been going on in his family for many generations. He told me he is a relative of Hilter and that in his bloodline certain things are required of them. He told me about being trained, mentally, physically and emotionally since he was a toddler. I would listen to his stories and periodically I would make a statement like, "That was horrible, or abusive." or whatever category it fit. He told me of his many attempts at suicide, cutting himself and not remembering what had happened afterward. He spent a lot of his time in psych wards. Even though he told me these horrible and scary stories and was hyper and jumpy, I started to love him. I looked forward to praying for him every morning.

He seemed to thrive in the love and prayer I gave him and anytime he would do or say something that he thought I disapproved of, he would look at me and apologize and asked, "do you still love me?" I told him of course I still love him, nothing would change that. Slowly he started trusting in that love. After about a month of our early morning meetings, he asked me did I want to meet his girlfriend Carrie. He said her father owned a satanic bible and believe in an ancient Egyptian religion. At around this time I had a dream, in that dream I was fighting these demons on their turf. God also spoke to me in that dream, right before I got to my destination, He said,"There is witchcraft, child sacrifice, child molestation, and every evil work where you're going'. In the dream my pastors were on the other end praying for me. I went in fearlessly. In the dream I could see the demons, but they could not see me. I had the advantage and I plotted how to destroy them.

Then I meet Carrie two years younger than James's sixteen, she's beautiful, blond, green-eyes with a naive quality about her that I find endearing. Her first words to me are, "I have black people in my family." I did not see that one comings so I said, "good," for lack of a better reply. The kids asked me if it was alright for them to visit me at home on Saturday.

Adoption: part one

I know this post would not go over well in some religious circles. It really doesn't matter does it? We should always tell the truth as God gives it to us. I'm definitely not a biblical scholar, I lay no claim to anything except a relationship with my heavenly Father. This is not a disclaimer, just fact. Some may think that I'm insane or unstable, I'm not! What I'm about to expose on theses pages is true. I have changed the names of the children to protect them. I may not be as nice to the witches-oh well. You know who you are and so do I. You will find out why. The bible says to have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove(expose, rebuke) them. I have enclosed prayer in this post.

Father, I asked you to bless those that read and believe. I bind all demonic and second heaven activities, and  every spirit assigned against my assignment. Holy Spirit have your way. I bind all mind binding, and blinding spirits  that would try to come against anyone reading these pages . I pray that you exposed the enemy and bring him to an open shame. I decree and declare that the people of God will exercise discernment between what is light and what is darkness. I ask that the eyes of our understanding be open to your Divine truth. I declare that the people of God will not be ignorant of the devices of the enemy. That they will sharply detect the wiles of the devil. I come up against witchcraft in all it's forms in the name of Jesus. I break in pieces every spiritual cauldrons, and stirring pots, I break the power of all  incantation, proliferation, chains, fetters, snares,and all witchcraft spell, voodoo spell, satanic spell,  hexes, vexes, and curses, Father I ask that you destroy the power of all witchcraft prayer, psychic prayers, and every idle word spoken against your original plan in Jesus name. I decree and declare they will not stand; they shall not come to pass; they shall not take root and all their violent verbal dealing are returned to the sender double-fold in the name of Jesus. No weapon formed against the people of God shall prosper, and every evil trap lain in the spirit is set off  before we get to it.. In Jesus name!

It started one day about two years ago. I was working at a dermatological surgery center. I was overworked and wore many hats in the office. I was the mother hen so to speak. All staff, doctor, accounts payable and receivable, pay check , billing issues and some patient care hung on my shoulder. It wore me down. I had a constant headache and had started experiencing heart palpitations. In order to get through the day, I would go to work a hour early, so that I could pray for that day. I would sit outside in front of the building and cry out to God in distress. The office building next door to the office had been empty for the four years that I had worked for the company. The building had recently opened, I was curious to what company had required the office space. I found out it was a school for high school children that had emotional and behavior problems in the public school system. Now every morning during my quiet prayer time, I would hear the robustious ranting of teenagers going down the wrong path.

During this time my prayers started to change. I had asked the Lord to teach me to pray. He told me don't be afraid to pray the Psalms and he started teaching me what some biblical words meant, like Belial-worthless, evil and wicked, he would say stuff like I hate that spirit Jezebel, it kills my prophets.  He taught me to pray spiritual warfare prayers. For years I had gotten the prophecy that I would cast out demons. Even though that's what Jesus and the apostles did, I wanted no parts of it. God would not let me get away from it. I ran like Jonah ran from Nineveh. God pursued me and put me in situations that had me so scared; I would make a mistake, and allow his spirit out, the demons had no choice but to flee.

Four years earlier: While attending a different church, in a different state strange things started happening in church. I find out that people in the church were using witchcraft, one lady went to a voodoo priest to get something to get rid of me, permanently. A couple of month before that incident the Lord spoke to me and said, "they're going to want you dead, but nothing by any means will harm you". I had no idea what he was talking about. I didn't think I posed a threat to anyone and I definitely didn't feel as if I had any enemies. My ministry had just started and to be honest I didn't have a clue as to what I was doing. I didn't want to be the target of death threats, so I told the Lord, "No thank you, I'm not signing up for that one." In the army of the Lord some people can enlist and some are just drafted. I was drafted, he didn't care that I was a flatfooted, lilylivered coward. He told me I had courage because he put it in me. That's when he gave me the name Fearless.

The day the hex was to be put on me I prayed the 91st Psalms before service. I found out later that- Two women in the church came up with a foggy wet substance from some voodoo priest. One women thought her husband was attracted to me and the other felt I was favored, because I had been given the Wednesday night slot for ministry, and I had to speak on some given Sunday's. As scared and unsure of myself as I was I would have gladly given her have the floor. I had no desire for the others one's short fat balding potbellied husband, in my opinion both of them were being ridiculous. Ridiculous or not, they devised a scheme for my demise. They were bigger than me, scary and refused to hug me before church started this particular Sunday. One even walked up to me and put her hand out to me as if we were about to become opponents in a match that she was sure to win. I reluctantly shook it, mostly because the church was filling up and I didn't want to appear rude. The two of them walked to the back of the church, leaving me trembling in fear of getting beat-up. I got up and started silently quoting Psalms 27. When they came back to were I was standing one was coming up to me as if to hug or pray for me. I could see the foggy substance in a small oil bottle. As she got to me and hugged me, I whispered in her ear, Shirley I love you , but I'm standing on the truth. Then I hear a loud growl come out her mouth and suddenly without warning, I hear and feel something really loud and powerful come from me. It reminded me of a train. It had totally taken over my body. Shirley's body was twisting and distorting as this power came forth. What was in me was clearly the aggressor and seemed to back Shirley up into a corner. I could not hear what was coming out of my mouth, I could only feel it. From my peripheral vision, I see the other woman (the one who shook my hand) grab her bible and run out of the church. Finally Shirley lay in a heap and I hear myself saying in a loud voice, "LOOSE HER". I looked up and everyone in the church is staring at me with their mouths hanging open. I put my head down and sit down in embarrassment. In my head I reprimanded Jesus. "I wish you would have let me know you were going to do that, now they're going to hate me for real." No one said anything to me the rest of the service or afterward. I wanted to defend myself and explain that that wasn't me, but no one gave me a chance.

 I thought I gotten my chance when at 6:00am the following morning the pastor called me, but before I could make it known, he attacked me and asked me "Who gave you the authority to cast out demons in my church." If he would have worded it any other way, I may have tried to explain myself and Jesus. With God things has a way of going his way. My reply was not the self-defense one I had rehearsed for the past several hours. I said , "You know who, if you have a problem with it, I suggest you take it up with Jesus," in a snarky voice, before  hanging up the phone on him. I never went back to that congregation, although several members called me and told me what had really happened that day. The one who ran out the church confessed the plot, swearing she was an innocent player. A few weeks later God told me to move to Florida. I was there within a week. I started attending a nice Messianic Jewish congregation. God told me he was giving me pastors after his own heart, because I needed to heal. He also told me my biggest problem is that, I don't know who I am, and that he didn't want me in ministry now, he wanted me to learn to "rest," in him. It seemed like a good plan to me, one of the best God had come up with, so far as I was concerned.

I love my new pastors Alyosha and Jody and they love me. They called themselves my spiritual abba and emma. Hebrew for mother and father. Jody always calls me her, "Beautiful One," and I loved my new moniker. In their congregation I found true acceptance, and healing of all the wounds that life and the church had afflicted on me. I was loved as I rested in my heavenly Abba. Like all good things, after awhile it came to an end. Four years after meeting them, God moved them to Israel to ministry to his beloved Israelis. The day they made aliyah(legal immigration to Israel) I was livid.

 Before they left, they were instructed by God to have a service to bless me to go forth into ministry. My time of healing and waiting was over. I didn't want to feel grown-up and responsible again. The day of my service, Alyosha who also happens to be a Psalmist played a beautiful heavenly melody that Abba gave him just for me. To this day I can not hear it without crying in thanksgiving and gratitude. Alyosha also told me what my name means in Hebrew, it's Abira and it means strong and High Father and Father sees. When Alyosha told me that it meant strong, I frowned because all the other women in the congregation, who got the meaning of their names, were named after flowers. You would have thought he said, my name is Samson, but all of a sudden things became clear to me. God told me I'm a blood washed daughter of the Most "High," God. My Father is HIGH and I'm strong and I have always been strong. No matter what oppositions I had faced in life I overcame them because, my name meant strong. All through the bible names have meaning and the character of that person fit. Sometimes he changed their names and their character; like Saul to Paul, he let Peter know he was a "rock.' Each time he spoke their names to them they were transformed. My identity had been spoken into me. God let me know who I am.  And I remembered him telling me that my biggest problem was, " You don't know who you are.".... That's when I met the children.

At this time, as I'm sitting in front of my place of employment praying for some release from the stress of that job. I get bombarded with these juvenile delinquents. They're loud, obnoxious and disrespectful. I started watching them and praying for them. My prayers changed from those beggy, desperate prayer to prayers of deliverance and healing for these children. I asked the Lord to send someone to help them. Unbeknownst to me that someone, is going to be me. The first child that spoke to me is a boy of sixteen or seventeen, we will call him James. He's tall and handsome, but very hyper. He moves the entire time we're talking and his eyes are moving fast and unfocused. His starts the conversation by asking me my name. I tell him my name, then he says in a matter of fact tone, "I got raped."