The Still Quiet

As I listen to the hum of the air conditioner and the still quiet of the house; I hear the echo of her voice. She is gone. I feel her presence and smell the scent of baby powder. There is no jumping, running, laughter or playing just this still quiet. It's relaxing and unnerving. My baby is gone home and grandma is alone again. There are no toys to step on, nose to wipe, no skinny arms encircling my neck, no big jumps with out stretched arms to express how big their love is for me. There is just this still quiet; I love it and I hate it. I will sleep alone tonight for the first time in five days, I will not feel the warmth or her body nor hear the sound of her gentle snore or feel the wool fur of Johnnie the bear( who by the way wears spiderman pants and his name is spelled with a "A"). My baby is gone, and I miss her. We had fun and it is over for now. We have been apart for a year out of her four. I missed her first day in headstart, her first dance recital and her fourth birthday party. Thanks to new technology I have it all on CD and DVD, but it not the same as being there.

I wanted to do as much as possible on our visit together, so we went to Universal to the Dr Seuss theme park. I was so excited; we rode the Red fish Blue fish (a favorite book of mine as a child, I had my parents read it to me so many times that I could recite the book page by page, their friends and my sister Gina thought I could read. I also took a picture with Thing1 and Thing2 from the Cat in the Hat. Nia was afraid to take a picture with them, because she said they where standing to close to the Grinch. (I was the only one standing near them!!) Then we went to the beach, and played in the water and made a sandcastle that I was not making "look pretty", because I forgot her sand pail, and everyone knows that a sandcastle made with grandma blood, sweat and tears could never measure up to one made with a shovel and pail. So we had to return the next day with shovel, sand pail (and the Grinch) in tow. I told her to call me grandmommie dearest, she didn't. We made a beautiful sandcastle and I started singing Stevie Wonder's "Castle of Love" and she joined in after listening to the words for a while. I cherished every minute of our time together, and I silently and some times not so silently praised God for every moment.

Every morning we had "praise and worship" together and she said she liked "praise and worship" with me, even though she told Aunt Jill she didn't. She liked to make Aunt Jill tickle her. And every night we watched "Chicken Little" on DVD(over and over) and she know every word, song and dance, and before our time together was over I knew them too. We had a great time and now she's gone home. All that's left is the still quiet. I am happy and I am sad.