I've been thinking about love lately, the real kind not my self-absorb fantasy of happy ever after. I come to the concussion that I have limited knowledge whatsoever on the subject. My sister Claudia says that I'm a lovebug. I beg to differ, I treat people the way I want to be treated, but there is a clause in that. You must never cross me or anyone I love. Then you have to deal with my nasty little attitude and vicious tongue.
I'm not above speaking very little and putting that person on the pay you no mind list. I will ignore you and talk and laugh with everyone else around us. I will totally keep you out of my sunshine. I will call my close associates and my sisters and trash that person, even though it feels heavy and painful. Then when it gets to heavy to carry any further. I tell Jesus on them. He takes it too, the heavy lifts and I begin to see a different side, I see the God's side. I receive his wisdom. I always have to go to that person and apologize for the part I played. His side is always the side of love. Mine is usually pride or wounded pride.
I'm starting to realize that love isn't easy for me because it requires something from me. Things like service and self-sacrifice. I read that it's kind and patient, seeks not it's own, is not easily provoked, the total opposit nature then the one I possess. I'm praying to be able to love like God.
Fearless
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