Thursday, December 20, 2012

Sore Loser



Okay, I'm a sore loser. I lost the door contest. However I'm not a sore loser because I thought my door design the best, although it suits my personality. I'm a sore loser because of the way I was treated the night of the Christmas party. Tuesday night was the night of the annual Christmas party for our building, given by the church next door. They come in periodically to let us know what great Christians they are by doing something mundane for us less fortunate. Don't get me wrong I have nothing against missionary work, and I do appreciate their effort, it's just that their effort are to me a- little condescending. They make statements that says it's us, and then there's you people. I don't think they're aware of what they say. We're their mission field; the heathen, unsaved and society's undesirables. Some have even come to me and asked me if I "Live here?" One woman told me I don't look disabled, of which I replied, "Thank you." I had no other reply. I'm not sure what disable is suppose to look like. I'm not disabled. I refuse to accepted a label my Abba didn't give me. Which brings me back to the night of the Christmas party.

In the last week Abba has given me a great friend in the building. I knew when I met her she loved Abba and her light is bright. I met her on the day the OBC put on an arts and craft workshop. Her and her sister taught the workshop. I sat next to her and we joked and laughed together. I found out that day that she lived on my floor. I didn't see her again until the day of the Christmas tree incident. She's the one that called me a perfectionist. Then the day of the OBC meeting I saw her walking down the hall and invited her to sit in on the meeting. We have been inseparable since. She's very crafty and she taught me how to make jewelry. I loved every minute of it! She's helped me decorate my door. We made the chain in the center of my door decor with the things she had in her possession. She loved my loud pink crazy designed. She knows I'm an original one of a kind miracle of God. My door reflects my love for Jesus. I did my theme of frankincense I wanted it to have that royal mid-eastern look. I have not celebrated Christmas in many years. For one, it's my opinion that it's not Jesus birthday(in the sense that he was born that day), but despite all I have learned about the holiday or any religious belief, I decided I celebrate Jesus everyday. What better way to celebrate Jesus then to be who he created me to be, fearfully and wonderfully made. Even though my door was so beyond traditional Christmas (I didn't want the Nativity scene, Santa or reindeer). I didn't celebrate the baby Jesus. I celebrated the King Jesus. He's my King. I threw in) the bright reef to remember to replace his crown of thorns. I knew that only Jesus understood my reasoning, I knew I would probably not win.

I helped decorate several other doors with the infamous Nosy Lady(President of the OBC) that first knocked on my door. She's healing from her broken hip and not using her walker. I enjoyed meeting my neighbors and helping them out. As I went to each apartment that we helped out, I noticed that she would call them "One of the good ones." Since becoming the secretary of the building council it has become apparent that some in the building are considered acceptable(mostly veterans or people considered intelligent) by her, and some are ostracized (mentally challenged) and the rest ignored completely(physically challenged). The more she talked the more my spirit grieved. So I started suggesting we decorate the doors of the unacceptable in the building. For some reason she desires my attention and time, so against her silent protest we decorated their doors.

The day of the Christmas party it didn't matter to me who won the door decoration prize. However when the time came for the prize, a woman from the church who happened to confuse my action with one of the guys in a wheelchair for my husband. The guy in the wheelchair has from the moment I met him by the mailbox, felt as if he's in the way. He's sad and lonely and for reasons that are obvious to me feels less than everyone else. I simply made his plate and found him a place at one of the tables. She went on to call him my old man. Finally I told her that he's just a resident and neighbor, and my husband is dead. She seemed offended. Little did I know, she's the top judge for the door contest. Boy, did she ever get back at me for correcting her. For the Christmas party we had a live band, catered meal and, a present exchange.

The time for the door decoration prize came at the very end. The woman whose error I corrected got up and asked everyone whose door number is called to step up to the Christmas tree. My door number was called. There were four of us called to the front, Ms Nosy, the other two were women who are faithfully attending the church next door. One women decoration had a K.U. theme. Most people here in Lexington are K.U. fans. One woman's door was strangely nondescript  with Santa Claus, snowmen and anything she could find to put to the door, however she has a plaque that's beside her door with John 3:16 on it. It's been on her door since I lived here and not apart of her Christmas decoration. Nosy Lady did have a beautiful door, I helped her decorate. Her door had red sparkly paper, trimmed in gold. She put a card on her door, mostly because it was gold that said, Glory to God. The lady went on to say, that it was a difficult decision that the judges had to make. I suddenly felt as if I was on some reality series wondering if I made the cut to continue on the series.

I didn't...

Not only did I not make it, she wanted to give me the reason why I didn't make it. With her good Christian condescending facial expression, she looked me right in my face and said, "Your door decoration didn't win because, "you didn't put a scripture on your door. You didn't remember what the season was about. This is a Christian building, it has a scripture on the outside of the building, it's ran by a Christian organization, and it's all about Jesus." I was singled out as lacking a Christian perspective. Santa Claus, K.U, and Nosy Lady's red and gold just showed more love for Jesus. I was the filthy heathen in her eyes. Our good Christian Christmas party had a secular band, booty shaking dancing by the the younger crowd, and apparently me. Somehow only I was the problem. I needed to acknowledge Jesus in his season. I gracefully listened as she continued her assault against me, I realized it was no longer about my door, but my lack of love for Jesus. I walked away from her assessment feeling as if someone had dumped trash at my door. I'm glad I know Jesus, if I didn't I certainly wouldn't want to know the Jesus that she represented. Sometime we can preach another Jesus by or actions. No matter how we see this season the people that profess to be Christian, must show love at all time other than that we're just lying to ourselves, and we don't know Jesus at all.

Nosy Lady won, because she had scripture on her door. She's a good Christian.

Somehow in her assessment of me, I not only lost the door contest, I lost my love for Jesus.
That's what makes me such a sore loser.

She took all that I have....

Fearless




1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Dang :( Your door looks nice ♥ :)