The Beautiful One

Song of Solomon 2:10-13World English Bible (WEB)

10 My beloved spoke, and said to me,
    “Rise up, my love, my beautiful one, and come away.
11 For, behold, the winter is past.
    The rain is over and gone.
12 The flowers appear on the earth.
    The time of the singing has come,
    and the voice of the turtledove is heard in our land.
13 The fig tree ripens her green figs.
    The vines are in blossom.
    They give out their fragrance.
Arise, my love, my beautiful one,
    and come away.

My life is changing so fast I find it hard to keep up myself. For years, the Lord has made promises to me. He has spoken tender love stories in my ear. He calls me the beautiful one even when I feel tired and haggard and not attractive at all. When my hair is dirty and stringy and my eyes bloodshot from crying, like right now. His love always leaves me crying with joy. Today, he felt like loving on me. I guess I needed a love feast today. For sure they are always welcome though unexpected.

He gave me the scripture that I posted today. I opened my bible and there it was. It's the same scripture from my story in Sistahfaith. It always touches my heart and reminds me of His everlasting love and covenant to me. For me it's personal.

Yesterday I had a phone call that left me feeling misunderstood and judged wrongly. I don't know why people see me different than I truly am. It's hard when someone is weighing your every word and you know it. Sometimes my speech is halting,not because I lack confidence, but because I want to give the right words so as to not be misjudged. I fail every time. I've come to the concussion that I should just be me. I'm freeing myself of trying to be understood or loved.

I know the one that loves me. I hear His voice and He loves me completely. I can't be separated from His love. I don't have to win His approval. I realize that a person can tell you that they don't love you one time and you may never feel as if they do again. I remember once as a young wife and mother that I told my husband that I hated him in a fit of rage.

I will never forget the devastated look in his eyes. Even after the argument was over the pain remained inside of him and he often reminded me of what I had said. I loved him and it was never true, but he never felt secure in my love again. To be secure in something means fastened to, held firmly. When you refuse to hold love firmly or fasten to it, why call the other person insecure? I gave him no safety or security. He was left with nothing to hold on to.

Jesus love is always firmly fastened. It's solid, it's where my security lies. Today I'm loved and called the beautiful one, even if I don't see it.

Fearless