John 15:20 Remember the word that I said unto you, A servant is not greater than his lord. If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you; if they kept my word, they will keep yours also.
I'm a subscriber to the Voice of the Martyrs magazine and email. Once a month the send a publication of the magazine, but I receive many emails. My heart breaks for the many Christians that are martyred regularly for the gospel. I send money when I can; pray and cry for them when I can't. I have suffered persecution many times. My body has never been targeted, no one has ever beat, burned or attempted to behead me. My character has been questioned, I have been called a hypocrite more times then I care to remember, this usually happens when I refused to allow them to take advantage of me because I am a Christian.
I was witnessing to this guy that I work with lately. He's an active crack user and bi-sexual that proudly boasts about his lifestyle. He even told a few people he would corrupt me before I convert him. I never have a problem giving anyone my testimony and him and with I spent many hours talking. I never talked against his lifestyle but he always wanted to have conversation about God with me. I'm certain that if Jesus can save me, no one is beyond his reach. I never browbeat anyone with scriptures but if asked, I speak the truth.
He started shamelessly flirting with me a couple of weeks ago. I just simply told him he was wasting his time, he told me he would have me within a couple of weeks because he would "woo" me. I never took his weak wooing serious. I just spoke my peace (hell no, it's not gonna happen) and tried not to be too rude.
Last week he made a statement that he has come to terms with his crack addiction and it doesn't take anything away from him. A few days before he made that statement two guys came in to buy burgers and my brother-in-law Alvin(owner and operator) was out at the time and the guy had to cook. I pretty much have to watch everything he does. So I went in the kitchen as he was preparing the burgers and noticed that he was using the beef that was in an container that was suppose to be thrown out (it was turning brown with age). I told him that that meat is not to be sold, he put it on the grill anyway and told me he knew what he was doing. I took the meat off the grill and threw it in the garbage. I could see the hostility in his eyes but, quality is more important to me than popularity. When he made the statement about his crack addiction not taking away from him. I reminded him of the meat incident and the fact that he makes bad choices that people in their right mind would not make.
It's something about the truth that some people reject. I think maybe it confirms our own self evaluations. It paints the portrait of ourselves that we think are hidden in our self-deceptions; it unmask our sin and pain, and it pulls the bandages off our infected and pus oozing wounds, and it tears down the stone walls of pride that our callous hearts our hidden behind. The truth leaves us naked and vulnerable and in desperate need of a savior.
He got so angry with me, he called me a hypocrite, a former whore and prostitute, he said I was never raped that I seduced my rapist, and that I was a child prostitute and IV heroin addict and cocaine snorter and that I was a liar, still on drugs and playing with God. He said I left my son and was never more then a person who gave birth. He accused me of the of things that just weren't true, he said, I should never give my testimony ( or write about it) because I was the most disgusting person he knows. He berated me with lies and some half truths straight from the pits of hell. He went on for about a hour until he looked as if he wanted to cry. I never spoke against him or defended myself, periodically I would agree(the half truths) but for the most part I just listened. I looked in his eyes the whole time, sometimes they looked empty and at other they looked evil.
The day before this assault happened I had this vision about this guy. In the vision something was hovering over him. It was large and brown with what looked like tentacles. The vision flashed before my eyes and stayed there for about two minutes. All I could say at the time is "eewe, eewe Lord what is that?" I don't get many vision, but I always get warnings. A big ugly demon was hovering over this guy waiting to attack me. So, I do what the word of God instructed me to do, I put on my whole armor of God. Every assault bounced off of me. It just did not penetrated as vicious as it was.
Earlier this year when I was working on Apostle Kimberly Daniels campaign and listened to the assaults on her past, I was always amazed at her courage and how she took the assaults with such dignity. She has never been afraid to tell the truth of how God rescued her from the crack house and her own self-destructive path. They called her an ex-prostitute and questioned her God given redemption. They missed the beauty of God's Glory that rest in her character. They asked her why she spoke on and wrote about her past drug addiction and prostitution, she answered in a matter of fact voice, "because it's the truth." At that time I often wondered if I could take character assignation as well as she had, or if the things in my past could still cause me shame. I realized that the only shame is the shame of allowing the disease of sin to eat us alive without ever accepting the grace and redemption that's offered so freely to us.
After he was through with his ferocious tirade against my right to exist, He said I have no right to tell him about his drug addiction and he asked me why would I care. I told him because I care about him and see more in him than he sees in himself. He stormed away from me after that shouting over his shoulder for me not to "care about" him. I believe his anger at being sexually abused as a child by a male relative(heard about it by family friend) had come full circle with the truth of my testimony. The stone walls finally came crashing in on him. It's easier to fight than to feel the pain. My grandmother used to say that an angry dog will bite you, God said a wounded bird will peck you. I don't know how much of the assault was the demon, how much was the wounded child and how much was that wall of pride that says, I'm messed up and I know it but I don't want you to know."
I do know that I have to accept persecution with the grace that rescued me from my own self-destructive past. I have to remember that Jesus said to "count up the cost" of following him. There will always be people that will lie on me or bring up my past, like the children of Israel did to Moses when they asked, "aren't you the one that killed the Egyptian?" I realize that flesh has an uncomfortable desire to feel superior and compare sins. Would it not make my sin less smelly if yours were worse? I have been blessed to be pulled out of a dark pit even though Jesus hated even the garment worn by my flesh. I walked deep into darkness and Mercy rescued me. I am truly a women of grace and I will tell it as long as I have breath in my body.
I will also remember that a servant will never be greater then his LORD.
Fearless
I'm a subscriber to the Voice of the Martyrs magazine and email. Once a month the send a publication of the magazine, but I receive many emails. My heart breaks for the many Christians that are martyred regularly for the gospel. I send money when I can; pray and cry for them when I can't. I have suffered persecution many times. My body has never been targeted, no one has ever beat, burned or attempted to behead me. My character has been questioned, I have been called a hypocrite more times then I care to remember, this usually happens when I refused to allow them to take advantage of me because I am a Christian.
I was witnessing to this guy that I work with lately. He's an active crack user and bi-sexual that proudly boasts about his lifestyle. He even told a few people he would corrupt me before I convert him. I never have a problem giving anyone my testimony and him and with I spent many hours talking. I never talked against his lifestyle but he always wanted to have conversation about God with me. I'm certain that if Jesus can save me, no one is beyond his reach. I never browbeat anyone with scriptures but if asked, I speak the truth.
He started shamelessly flirting with me a couple of weeks ago. I just simply told him he was wasting his time, he told me he would have me within a couple of weeks because he would "woo" me. I never took his weak wooing serious. I just spoke my peace (hell no, it's not gonna happen) and tried not to be too rude.
Last week he made a statement that he has come to terms with his crack addiction and it doesn't take anything away from him. A few days before he made that statement two guys came in to buy burgers and my brother-in-law Alvin(owner and operator) was out at the time and the guy had to cook. I pretty much have to watch everything he does. So I went in the kitchen as he was preparing the burgers and noticed that he was using the beef that was in an container that was suppose to be thrown out (it was turning brown with age). I told him that that meat is not to be sold, he put it on the grill anyway and told me he knew what he was doing. I took the meat off the grill and threw it in the garbage. I could see the hostility in his eyes but, quality is more important to me than popularity. When he made the statement about his crack addiction not taking away from him. I reminded him of the meat incident and the fact that he makes bad choices that people in their right mind would not make.
It's something about the truth that some people reject. I think maybe it confirms our own self evaluations. It paints the portrait of ourselves that we think are hidden in our self-deceptions; it unmask our sin and pain, and it pulls the bandages off our infected and pus oozing wounds, and it tears down the stone walls of pride that our callous hearts our hidden behind. The truth leaves us naked and vulnerable and in desperate need of a savior.
He got so angry with me, he called me a hypocrite, a former whore and prostitute, he said I was never raped that I seduced my rapist, and that I was a child prostitute and IV heroin addict and cocaine snorter and that I was a liar, still on drugs and playing with God. He said I left my son and was never more then a person who gave birth. He accused me of the of things that just weren't true, he said, I should never give my testimony ( or write about it) because I was the most disgusting person he knows. He berated me with lies and some half truths straight from the pits of hell. He went on for about a hour until he looked as if he wanted to cry. I never spoke against him or defended myself, periodically I would agree(the half truths) but for the most part I just listened. I looked in his eyes the whole time, sometimes they looked empty and at other they looked evil.
The day before this assault happened I had this vision about this guy. In the vision something was hovering over him. It was large and brown with what looked like tentacles. The vision flashed before my eyes and stayed there for about two minutes. All I could say at the time is "eewe, eewe Lord what is that?" I don't get many vision, but I always get warnings. A big ugly demon was hovering over this guy waiting to attack me. So, I do what the word of God instructed me to do, I put on my whole armor of God. Every assault bounced off of me. It just did not penetrated as vicious as it was.
Earlier this year when I was working on Apostle Kimberly Daniels campaign and listened to the assaults on her past, I was always amazed at her courage and how she took the assaults with such dignity. She has never been afraid to tell the truth of how God rescued her from the crack house and her own self-destructive path. They called her an ex-prostitute and questioned her God given redemption. They missed the beauty of God's Glory that rest in her character. They asked her why she spoke on and wrote about her past drug addiction and prostitution, she answered in a matter of fact voice, "because it's the truth." At that time I often wondered if I could take character assignation as well as she had, or if the things in my past could still cause me shame. I realized that the only shame is the shame of allowing the disease of sin to eat us alive without ever accepting the grace and redemption that's offered so freely to us.
After he was through with his ferocious tirade against my right to exist, He said I have no right to tell him about his drug addiction and he asked me why would I care. I told him because I care about him and see more in him than he sees in himself. He stormed away from me after that shouting over his shoulder for me not to "care about" him. I believe his anger at being sexually abused as a child by a male relative(heard about it by family friend) had come full circle with the truth of my testimony. The stone walls finally came crashing in on him. It's easier to fight than to feel the pain. My grandmother used to say that an angry dog will bite you, God said a wounded bird will peck you. I don't know how much of the assault was the demon, how much was the wounded child and how much was that wall of pride that says, I'm messed up and I know it but I don't want you to know."
I do know that I have to accept persecution with the grace that rescued me from my own self-destructive past. I have to remember that Jesus said to "count up the cost" of following him. There will always be people that will lie on me or bring up my past, like the children of Israel did to Moses when they asked, "aren't you the one that killed the Egyptian?" I realize that flesh has an uncomfortable desire to feel superior and compare sins. Would it not make my sin less smelly if yours were worse? I have been blessed to be pulled out of a dark pit even though Jesus hated even the garment worn by my flesh. I walked deep into darkness and Mercy rescued me. I am truly a women of grace and I will tell it as long as I have breath in my body.
I will also remember that a servant will never be greater then his LORD.
Fearless
2 comments:
:(
WOW!!!
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