Monday, January 23, 2012

Prayer Circle

Jer 9:17  Thus saith Jehovah of hosts, Consider ye, and call for the mourning women, that they may come; and send for the skilful women, that they may come:
Jer 9:18  and let them make haste, and take up a wailing for us, that our eyes may run down with tears, and our eyelids gush out with waters.

We sit in the middle of the floor. There are four of us present; my sisters Jill and Gina, Melodie( friend and sister in Christ) and myself. Our eyes are closed but our hearts are opened. We close our eyes to block out anything in our field of vision that would distract us from focusing on the King of Glory. We want him and only him, our prayers are desperate. I feel the longing in each of us. As I lift my voice to the throne of God I feel a knot rise in my throat. The tears spill from our eyes. I have prayed with each of these women many times. This time it's different.

In ancient Israel for funerals there were women hired as mouners to help the family to grieve. They were known as "mourning women," These women would make sudden outburst of unexpressed grief. In our prayer circle that night the grief hit us. For me it has been building up for over a year. I have held inside of me the grief of God toward his people. I have held his tears and the heaviness of his heart that he expressed to me. I have struggled with what to do with the revelations he has given me. Everyone I try to tell looks at me as if I have gotten to religious, and I wonder if they are right most of the time. I have to tell it though. Love won't let me hold it.

I was praying in the spirit a little over a year ago. Suddenly I had an overwhelming since of sadness. At the time I was going through a lot of changes, I had lost my job where I pretty much ran three Dermatology Surgery Centers. I had started letting my job define who I was. I had heart problems with no diagnosis, I walked through the valley of the shadow of death. On top of all of that I had depleted my savings. However my tears were not for me, because in all of that, I had the pleasure to watch in awe his faithfulness toward me.

What he told me is too much to post on one blog entry but I will write about it in a series soon. Today I will tell just a small portion of what he said.  He said his people honor him with their lips but there heart are far from him. He said that the church is lukewarm and full of not only hypocrisy, but apostasy. He said everyone is concerned with their own house and the children are being introduced to witchcraft and satanism in the schools, and they're becoming perverse and committing suicide and his people are not noticing. He said if we take care of his lambs he would take save our families. I could feel him crying for the babies and his people. He said only a third of the church is going to make it because of the apostasy in the church. He said the time of the gentile is almost fulfilled and his judgment is coming, and when it comes many of his people are going to get angry with him and curse him instead of repenting. They will not repent of their idolatry, their lackadaisical attitude toward the things of his heart, for their lukewarmness and their self-righteousness and many other things. As he cried, I cried with him. I repented for me, for his bride with our many blemishes, spots and wrinkles.

Since then try as I might to have church as usual, I can't. I keep telling people and they're treating me like some sort of self-righteous, delusional self-proclaimed prophet. I'm none of those things. I am a women God talks to, because it pleases him to talk to me( at least that's what he told me). I still sometimes struggle with others opinions of me. The more I see how vicious others opinions can be, the easier it's getting to get past them. Let people think whatever they want about you, but tell the truth their life depends on it. Love will always sacrifice his life for those he loves.  That's the truth of the cross. How can you pick up your cross without laying down your life.

That night in the prayer circle, I could hear the Holy Spirit calling us the mourning women. Like the prophet Jeremiah( also known as the weeping prophet) 9: 17-18 God is calling for the weeping women to wail to cause us to repent, the stench of our sins in the land has reached his nostrils. That night we mourned for the children, the people of God and people that has been wounded by the hypocrisy in the house of the Lord. I could not stop crying. Maybe I cried for all the mess I saw going on in many of the churches I visited while in Florida. I watched the apostasy and total ridiculousness of a few of the preachers, or in my opinion false prophets. I prayed for workers to in the vineyard and Shepherds that are not blind, I prayed for holy boldness, but mostly I pray that the eyes of our understanding are opened before it's too late.

Judgment begins in the house of the Lord.

Fearless


2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I hope you receive this have been trying to get in touch with you..norma

Fearless said...

Hi Norma, I received it. My phone broke in Florida and I have been without a phone. I will go today and get the problem taken care of. I hope all is well with you. I will call you as soon as I'm able.