Trembling Faith

Zep 3:17  The LORD thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; he will save, he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee with singing. 

Zep 3:18  I will gather them that are sorrowful for the solemn assembly, who are of thee, to whom the reproach of it was a burden. 

Zep 3:19  Behold, at that time I will undo all that afflict thee: and I will save her that halted, and gather her that was driven out; and I will get them praise and fame in every land where they have been put to shame. 

I'm still in Florida. All of last week we have been nonstop moving. Last week my sister from Chattanooga came down for our annual Sisters Weekend. We spent much of our time in the pool, and on the beach. We laughed hysterically, looked at old photos and reminisced.  Sisters Weekend lasted a whole week. All was good until I went to Orlando with a friend of mine. When I came back my sisters were annoyed at my sister-in-law. My sister-in-law came down with me. She lives in Detroit. When I was in Detroit, I went to visit her and my brother. Their marriage is in tatters. She was in the bed crying her eyes out. I prayed for her and I asked her to come to Lexington with me to get away for awhile. She made it a week before my Florida trip.

She mostly slept at my place. I didn't mind. I know how my Abba works, it is his plan to bring salvation to my brother household(something I have been praying for for years). She came to the bible study and had a great time. She started calling the people who attend the study, my cute little family. They are my cute little family. Before I left Lexington to come to Florida, Abba spoke to me and said for me to bring her to Florida with me that He would save her there and she will go back and be a light that would bring salvation to her family. He kept His word as I knew he would. On the first Sunday in Florida we attended my sister Jill's church. Lena went up during a altar call, and right there in front of all present he filled her with his precious Holy Spirit. 

I cried, mainly because He never cease to amaze me, and another is because He loves us so much. He's so faithful with His promises. All He ask of us is to hear His voice and follow him. I heard Him and I followed Him, Lena heard and followed. Since then we have been working in my sister Jill ministry. They recently moved into a new building. We have been helping in the decorating, and flag making. Lena look like a new person. She's radiantly beautiful with the Spirit of the Most High God. I on the other hand can't stop crying. My tears are not tears of sadness, but tears of joy that words cannot express.

I also know how easily a infant christian can be wounded by older more experienced Christians. As soon as I heard my sisters complaints about Lena, I went into overprotective mother hen modus-operandi. As much as I love my sisters I must admit they still need Jesus to cook them a little longer in their love walk. I called a good friend of mine and asked her if we could stay at her place for a couple of days. I know it's not time for us to leave yet. Abba need to strengthen us a little more. He's been dealing with me on a number of issues. I left my sister's home quickly. I must protect my Abba's babies.

Since I left Michigan and even before I went. I struggled with trusting Him with my child and grandchildren. I had beggy prayers concerning them. On my first week in Michigan my three year old granddaughter( my twin) and I were in the yard "killing mushroom," (her words). The Lord spoke to me and asked me if she was precious to me. My whole heart said, YES. She's so sweet and precious to me. He said, "she's more precious to me." Still a few weeks later I begged Him to keep them safe. I had got to the point of worry over my babies, all of them. They are my greatest blessings and I have to trust my Father with them as I take care of His babies, because that's His promise to me. If I take care of His and He will take care of mine.

The other thing He dealt with me about is calling what I do a bible study. He told me to call it what it is- a Ministry. Every time I said ministry I would correct myself and say bible study. I didn't check myself and ask why I did that. He told me why since I've been in Florida. He say I haven't fully committed myself to His work and if I say ministry that means It will cost me something, and if I said bible study I can walk away or quit whenever I felt like it. He told me he desires my whole-heart and from now on I must say ministry. I know that's one reason I was sent here. He emptied me on purpose. Jesus said we must first count up the cost. My cross has been heavy. I first had to get through my good christian friends getting on me for not having a church home or covering. In their eyes I'm a ragamuffin vigilante. No way could God send me. I trust Abba with that too. He will let me know when and where to go. They feel that I need to be like them, and never leave the comfort of being a church member. I should only witness and bring souls to someone else to teach them. They have spent the last twenty or thirty years in discipleship. I dare to follow Jesus and went to make more disciples. I stepped outside the church doors to a dying word. I walked past their whispers and frowns. It's not the first time I have had to do that. That's part of the cost of following Jesus.

I did have a dream yesterday. I was praying and I suddenly felt too tired to do anything, but lay down. I tried to work in my sisters yard. I almost fell out. My legs felt like lead. I realized that when this has happened in prayer before it was Abba's way of getting past the noise and monkey chatter in my head. He wanted me to sleep so that He could tell me something. I finally laid down. I had a dream of a ministry and even a name of a women who is to help and cover me. During the time that I have been in Florida the church next door to the building I live in has decided that we have to come to the church to have our bible study. We can no longer take their table and chairs. I have been worried and my faith has been trembling or "halted" faith for a few months now. Sometimes Abba has to wrestle the trembling out of us. Love never fails. He doesn't want me to tremble with fear that He might not do what He has promised. Or to fear being a failure. He wants our trust to be for the mere fact that we know He's faithful.

One of my friends here in Florida gave me the above scripture. He sings over us. He even has promises for me with my halting faith.

Fearless