Grateful

Rev 2:10  Have no fear of the things which you will have to undergo: see, the Evil One will send some of you into prison, so that you may be put to the test; and you will have great trouble for ten days. Be true till death, and I will give you the crown of life. 

Rev 2:11  He who has ears, let him give ear to what the Spirit says to the churches. He who overcomes will not come under the power of the second death. 

I am thankful for so many things. Today I decided to be more conscious of my surroundings. There is beauty in  simple things. Today I noticed the first spring buds on the trees in the backyard. My first thought was of the new life. My second thought is  of  the brown dead leaves that will one day lay like dead soldiers on the dying grass. I completely dismissed the season of new life. These thoughts made me wonder how much of my life have I missed while focusing on death.

When my son was a child I spent his childhood waiting on him to grow older. When he was in his terrible-twos every morning he would get up before me and make a big mess. He was very inventive, some days he would climb up on a chair and turn on the washing machine. Or pour cereal all over the floor. He was funny and fun exploring the world around him with awe and wonder. The fact that I was the person responsible for keeping his antics to a minimal left me tired and haggard most days. I didn't enjoy my child like I should have. Now I miss that baby boy and all his crazy toddler stunts. He has grown to a good man and a great father. I still sometimes long to go back to those days and hug that baby that brought unconditional love and trust into my life. He was the first person that really needed me. I didn't know how to be in the moment and enjoy it. So many blessing have went unnoticed in my life.

The bible says to bring every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. I finally get it. I have been paying attention to my thought pattern. I have to rebuke much of what I think. I do have high thoughts that exalts themselves over the knowledge of God. Those high thoughts are fears. Fear of failure, fear of what others will think of me, fear of sounding like a nutjob. I guess anyone that really followed God sounded foolish to others. I'm sure it was not easy for Noah to build and Ark while the rest of the world were partying. What I have feared most lately has been the coming judgment of our wicked generation. 

My problem has been a lack of balance. I, like Noah have been shown the heart of God. How he grieve innocent blood shed and the degradation of our society. I watched in horror the way his name is blasphemed and people in ignorance shake their fist at him. I cried with God for his people. I cried at the way his love is rejected and thrown back at him as if it's a worthless thing. I have seen only the destruction coming to the world. I missed the life that comes to all that believe. Not only life but eternal life. God is showing me that I should keep my eyes on the prize, Christ Jesus. It's time to sound the alarm and stay focus on life and forget about death. Death has no victory! 

I'm always in awe at the simple way God answers my prayer. I have been praying, for the things he showed me. He knew that the mind of the flesh would see only death and decay. He also knew the revelation would make me seek him. In a simple spring bub he showed me my thought pattern is off. I love that he takes time and enjoy the simple things with me, even while showing me great truths. He's never exhausted or haggard waiting for me to grow-up. He takes time to enjoy me. I think he even thinks I'm fun and funny even though I'm messy most of the time. It that unconditional love and trust that he sees. I need him. I am so grateful for his tender care.

Fearless