Killing of Trayvon

These are my thoughts though I have limited knowledge of all facts:

I heard about the Trayvon Martin killing a week or two ago. My sister Karen was watching the news and I was in my bedroom writing. I asked Karen what upset her so that she would scream out, "Oh no, he killed their baby." I said who? She said a man in Florida. I didn't go investigate her claims, I just sort of stayed in my room absorbed in what I was doing.

A couple of days later I was watching the news and the story replayed itself. I wondered how anyone could become a self-imposed cop and kill another without any repercussion. Somewhere in my psyche, I had this emotional block. Today I listen to the 911 tapes. In the back ground you could ear the kid screaming and begging for help. That open the flood gates of my soul. I cried for hours. I cried for his parents who listened to the tapes, and have been inconsolable every since. It's being said that the hollering may have come from the self-proclaimed neighborhood watchmen who killed the boy. I doubt that. I, as a parent know my son's voice. I know when his voice when annoyed, worried, scared, or even petrified, that comes with the territory of being a parent. I'm sure they knew their son's voice when they heard it. I remember why I blocked my emotions.

When I was thirteen years old I had a cousin who was also thirteen. It's something about having cousins your exact age, that will breed something special. It might be the understanding or knowing the mind and heart of another your age. Even though he was a boy I loved him dearly. He was killed by police in Boston when we were only thirteen. He was five feet tall with a slight built. His murder was classified as a mistaken identity. He was vindicated from any wrong doing. That din't stop the pain or the amount of grieve my family suffered. The police was never charged or reprimanded in the case. I remember feeling that we're only kids, why would someone harm him? How do you justify murdering a child? And why is the fact that they're black make it controversial, or the fault of the victim? Do people not realize that we loved our children just like white people  love theirs?

I watched in horror when I went with  my Aunt Saundra to identify her youngest son in a hospital following an accident that claimed his life( a different cousin).  As soon as she saw him her knees bucked and she lost her balanced as the grieve absorbed her. That night I think she may have cried a million tears.  I thought I would faint from the pain, not only my own, but my aunt's as well. I don't think anyone can comprehend a mother's grieve at the lose of her child,  no matter what the color of the child's skin.

I heard Trayvon's screams for help on the 911 tapes, they were the terrified screams of a child. Many witness have come forward and told that the kid was asking for help. The self-proclaimed neighborhood watchmen called the police and said it was a suspicious looking guy walking the neighborhood(black male in a hoodie). Trayvon had went to the store at half-time of the all star games to buy his little brother candy. He was armed with a bag of skittles and a can of iced tea. By all accounts the watchmen George Zimmerman pursued the kid and overtook him, though he said he killed him in self-defense. I am so sad for the parents. Trayvon died a hundred feet from where he was staying. His young blood soaking the earth. Probably crying out to God like Abel's. I know God hates innocent blood shed. I pray for the family of Trayvon,that God grant them peace and forgiveness in this difficult time. I pray that Trayvon is vindicated and the truth comes out and that Mr Zimmerman has his day in court, and that his soul be saved.

The day my mother told me about my cousin(in Boston) I was eating Now and Later candy. As I cried the Now and later candy mixed with tears did not make my sorrow sweet, it made the taste of the candy bitter. I have not eaten Now and Later candy since that day. I wonder if the taste of skittles will do the same for Trayvon's little brother. Will has mother ever enjoy the brisk cold taste of ice tea? The police refuse to arrest Mr. Zimmerman, and he has went into hiding after numerous death threats. I just want justice for Trayvon. It's sad that in almost forty years justice is still blinded by color instead of being colorblind.

My heart hurt so bad today...

Fearless