Counseling God

Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out! “Who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has been his counselor?”

– Romans 11:33-34 (NIV)

I was reading the book of Romans last night. I read from 8th chapter til the 11th chapter. I love the book of Romans. I used to believe that the early church was somehow more spiritual than myself. They did seem to knew the power of God. I thought they may have even feared Him more than we do. I'm not so sure anymore. If they were so much wiser than us, why did Paul have to teach the things he taught. 

Last night I got to the 11th chapter and the 33rd and 34th verse, and I could imagine Paul with his eyes closed in awesome wonder at the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God. Reading Paul's wonder put me in that same awesome wonder. How unsearchable his judgments, and his path beyond searching out. Paul asked the Roman congregation two rhetorical questions. "Who has know the mind of the Lord? Or who has been his counselor?

I have tried on a number of occasions to be His counselor. That didn't work out very well! Never! You would think I would have enough sense not to try to counsel God. I didn't. I got told off every time. For those that may not be aware of it(wise people who don't offer him counsel) Jesus has no problem putting you in your place. You usually find out you have some gross, ugly, sin behind your counsel. Case in point:

The Holy Spirit really is a counselor. A few years back I had backslid in the worse way possible-all the way. I was lonely for Jesus, but unable to get back to him. All hell broke out in my life. I cried out with a sincere heart to be restored. I was, but I was still concerned about my ability to walk away from Jesus. So I prayed for him to fix the broken parts of me that would cause me to walk away from such a loving, and good God. I didn't know how broken I really was. It took years for him to heal me. I'm sure there still much more work to do. Our counsel session usually started with some deep hidden pain. Those were some really rough session that left me crying for days, and sometimes weeks. Opening those old wounds hurt as much coming out as they did going in, accept this time I didn't try to numb them or hide them in my fragile heart(He wouldn't let me).

Back than the Holy Spirit used to say to me, I need you to give me this or that, usually some painful experience I didn't want to relive. The Holy Spirit is a relentless counselor. He gets what he wants. I used to beg Him not to make me relive experiences, I'd ask for a week to think about it. Tell him to cut me some slack, I'm not ready. I was a horribly non-compliant patient, the kind that I would clench my teeth at so I wouldn't appear as impatient as I truly was. I would finally give in. I would write about it or tell Him, and let the waterfalls begin. Like I said those days were rough on me. I would go to work with watery, red eyes and walk around like a zombie. One day after a particularly painful counsel session, I decided to offer my own counsel. I told Jesus that his way of counsel wasn't so hot, cause it hurt too much. He should try a better approach. I told him that "when other people hurt you, it can stay with you for years laying dormant. I think free will is the real problem. Other people sins against you will eat at you like cancer." He simply told me, "The only thing eating at you like cancer is your unforgiving."

Boy, did that scare the hell out of me(literally). When he said that to me, I was ready for a session, but this time I wanted the grace to forgive ALL who every hurt or sinned against me. I wanted that cancer out of me. Years later I finally realized that God never once asked me for my counsel. I'm starting to believe he doesn't need my counsel.

Let me reiterate,  every time I decided to counsel God, I learned something horrible about me. I would not advise it, but if your brave enough to try. Be warned...

Fearless