Comforted

Mat 5:4  Blessed are they that mourn! For they shall be comforted. 

I'm amazed at how fast the bible study is growing. I have fallen hopelessly in love with every toothless, wrinkled or weather-worn face. I have been teaching on the ministry of the Holy Spirit. I pray each of them receive this awesome gift Abba will freely given, to all who ask. I'm leaning more about these precious souls that Abba has trusted in my care this season. One guy told his story, he was raised in a Catholic orphanage, him and his three sisters, he said all of his sisters were raped. He said it was a horror story for all of them. He found it hard to believe in Jesus. One drunk night he stumbled into a tent revival and Jesus touched him, not only touched him, but filled him with His Holy Spirit. His brokenness lead him back to drinking. Yet he shows up sober, which might be his only sober day of the week.

The self-proclaimed devil's advocate said she was raped at the age of eleven. She didn't go any further with her story. I could see the raw pain in her face, though she sort of took on an attitude of bravado. She told this story to me when we were having lunch together one day.

One nice sweet lady told me she was kidnapped by a man she had befriended several months prior to his kidnapping her. He beat her black and blue and she managed to get away by jumping down a steep flight of stairs. If the assault was sexual too, she left that part out. 

One lady was beat and strangled by a husband that sexually assaulted her ten year old daughter by a previous relationship.

While they are telling me the stories, I look them in their eyes and tell them I'm sorry that they were treated so badly. I tell them they deserved to be loved and honored, and truly they do, but when I'm alone with Jesus, when no one is there to peek into my soul. I cry for their innocence being stolen, their trust being broken. I cry to Jesus to heal them, I cry to the Holy Spirit to comfort them, I cry to Abba redeem them.

When Jesus wanted to set me free from the pain of being raped, he told me to ask Him where He was when it happened. Finally He told me He was on that piss stained mattress with me crying. I wonder how many piss stained mattresses has he had to sit on crying. Jesus said He was there for each one of them and He held them even though they didn't know He was there. He saw it all, every detail no matter how small.

One day soon He going to wipe all the tears from our eyes. This time we will know He's there wiping our tears, that He's with us, and loves us, and has always loved us. 

Today I cry with Him.

Fearless