I have been in Michigan for about a month. I was planning to come this weekend and spend a couple of weeks with my grandchildren. I never intended to come as early as I did. The decision was made to come earlier, with a three o'clock AM call from my crying hysterically mother. I can think of nothing worse then to hear my mother crying, though I may have caused her many tears. I know it's bad news, I could hear my heartbeat as I waited for her to be able to tell me what had happened. I kept saying what's wrong mama? After a few more heart-wrenching sobs, she said, Janet died! Her last sister and the one she has always been closest to. This is the second sister she lost this year and the fourth in three years. She said, "I have buried my whole family." I can only imagine the depth of her pain. I couldn't find words to comfort her, so I spoke the first thought that came to my head, "It's not your whole family." I regretted those words as soon as they came out of my mouth. I know my words sounded selfish, shallow and uncaring. I did care, I cared deeply I just didn't know how to comfort her from such a distance. I wanted to hug her; to hold her in my arms the way she did me whenever I needed comforting. Hugs doesn't require proper words or sound for that matter just the closeness of someone that loves you.

So, I came the next day. I find out right before I come to Michigan that my mother has hurt her back and has been on a bedpan for a week. I talk to her several times a week, she never mention her injury to me. Slowly our rolls are reversing. I always heard this would happen, I just didn't think it would be so soon. I have four sisters, but I think I have always been the one being prepped for caregiver. That's okay with me, I love my mother. I came in took charge(even over my brothers with much protest). Within the first week I had her back on her feet. I held her at the funeral, she cried loud and from her heart. I cried with her, there were no words..none were needed.

Fearless