Yesterday I wrote a post about my new journal. My journey of self-discovery. It has been raining here for three days straight. The first day, I was scattered and random, unable to write, focus or get anything accomplished. Since getting a life coach I have cut a lot out of my life. Especially the toxic people that I minister to and live around. I let many of them go, I stopped going or taking them to their doctor visits, shopping center runs, and running errands. I had started to feel like everybody's mom. I wore myself out taking care of everyone else. I convinced myself that it was God's will even though He told me several times to "learn to say no to the demands of others, and listen to the Spirit call."
The stillness of my life felt overwhelming the first rainy day. I had no one making demands on me or my time. I was discombobulated by this realization. I didn't understand why. I sit alone pondering what I was feeling. I was stuck and I didn't understand why. The following day I woke and simply told my coach, "It's a new day."
Then the Lord lets me know my mothering of others started when I was eleven years old; when I returned home after living with relatives. I started basing my worth on how well I could care for others. Father said I was made to shine and not carry others on my back. Yesterday he asked me a question. The question was: Who are you?
My answer: I'm creative, I paint word pictures. I love to make things and can do wonders with a staple/glue gun paint and material. I love to make things beautiful. I have an uncanny eye for color and quality. When I write I evoke emotion because I feel deep, I'm kind but fiery. I love to learn and share my knowledge. I love words and stories, and I've been telling stories since I was a child. I love to challenge myself and I'm determined. I'm not a quitter and I won't stop until I learned whatever it is I set my mind to do. I'm strong, reliable, resilient, loyal, forgiving, I love unconditionally, and often allow others to cross boundaries. I have integrity and I'm honest. I love to work with my hands.I can be a loner and enjoy time to myself. I can also be the life of the party. I laugh easily and don't take myself too seriously.
There's probably more to me, however. that's what I know for sure right now.
Fearless
The stillness of my life felt overwhelming the first rainy day. I had no one making demands on me or my time. I was discombobulated by this realization. I didn't understand why. I sit alone pondering what I was feeling. I was stuck and I didn't understand why. The following day I woke and simply told my coach, "It's a new day."
Then the Lord lets me know my mothering of others started when I was eleven years old; when I returned home after living with relatives. I started basing my worth on how well I could care for others. Father said I was made to shine and not carry others on my back. Yesterday he asked me a question. The question was: Who are you?
My answer: I'm creative, I paint word pictures. I love to make things and can do wonders with a staple/glue gun paint and material. I love to make things beautiful. I have an uncanny eye for color and quality. When I write I evoke emotion because I feel deep, I'm kind but fiery. I love to learn and share my knowledge. I love words and stories, and I've been telling stories since I was a child. I love to challenge myself and I'm determined. I'm not a quitter and I won't stop until I learned whatever it is I set my mind to do. I'm strong, reliable, resilient, loyal, forgiving, I love unconditionally, and often allow others to cross boundaries. I have integrity and I'm honest. I love to work with my hands.I can be a loner and enjoy time to myself. I can also be the life of the party. I laugh easily and don't take myself too seriously.
There's probably more to me, however. that's what I know for sure right now.
Fearless
1 comment:
:)
Post a Comment