Isaiah 41:10
21st Century King James Version (KJ21)
10 fear thou not, for I am with thee; be not dismayed, for I am thy God. I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of My righteousness.
Several Years ago Abba spoke this scripture to me. I have always battled fear, even when He told me I had courage. I could never see myself as a person with courage. It's not easy to follow Jesus sometimes. I seem to always find myself making the difficult decision between obeying him or appeasing man. I used to be the worse kind of people-pleaser. I had a bad habit of apologizing to everyone that disliked or found-fault in me. I struggled with wanting to be accepted since my childhood. It started at home with my own siblings. It was easy to beat me down verbally. I have always been sensitive to others feeling. I couldn't deliberately verbally wound my siblings. I have lost many verbal disagreement. It was easy to make me the villain. I accepted the role without question. Like any abused person I believed it was my fault. That somehow I could be a better person.
Imagine my surprise every time Abba takes my side. Which is most every time someone comes up against me. Him the God of all of creation justifies me. Me, the one that justice alluded for most of my life. I still have to fight believing the lies spoken against me. I have to refuse to be that abused little girl. I have had to stop apologizing for being who Abba made me. It not always easy. If you hear negative words long enough, you'll start believing them.
I recently went through a very trying time with someone close to me. During the time I first learned of it I heard the Lord speak to me, "I have your back." I said to myself, "What now?!" I just want my life to be simple. I want to love and be loved. Jesus didn't say that the world would love us. On the contrary He said the world would hate us. Even though the person profess to be a Christian, her devotion is questionable at times. I'm not judging, trust me I can't judge anyone. I can judge others behavior though, how else can you know them by their fruit?
Abba told me what to do in the situation, but I hesitated, mainly because I was concerned what someone (another person involved) would think of me. For three or four days the Holy Spirit nudged me. I finally gave in. The one small seemingly insufficient thing changed the course of the situation. Even though all the hounds of hell seemed to be unleashed against me. I was lied on, talked about, things were said to discredit me. I was yelled at and told that I shouldn't have done the very thing I was instructed by the Holy Spirit to do. Although I knew better I, as I often do started to question my actions. Was I "Out of order?"
I had to repent for not being obedient those first few days. I know I wasn't obeying the voice of my God. I was more concerned with the comfort of my flesh. Abba told me I should always, bring those thought captive. Anytime you hesitate or tell yourself "this can't be Abba, it must be me." to avoid uncomfortable confrontation or rejection, it's the voice of your flesh. Abba already knew what would happen. He had also already let me know He was on my side. I like that He speaks to me in a language the ghetto girl that I am understands. "I have your back." It means, I'm on your side and I won't let any enemy jump you from the behind or overtake you. It means He's faithful. He upholds me with the right hand of His righteousness. I'm still find the thought of being so completely loved unbelievable. Me, the one that everybody else rejected, being accepted, not only accepted, but desired. I'm the apple of His eye and that knowledge fills my eyes with tears.
When Abba speaks a word to you, hold on to it for dear life. He's faithful to do exactly what He promises(Over and over). He knows we can be fearful, uncertain. He's not worried. He will never lose control. He can get through all those thoughts that scream at us from our past. He told me I was more honorable than the other person. Me, honorable in the sight of My God. Who would have thought it?
Fearless
21st Century King James Version (KJ21)
10 fear thou not, for I am with thee; be not dismayed, for I am thy God. I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of My righteousness.
Several Years ago Abba spoke this scripture to me. I have always battled fear, even when He told me I had courage. I could never see myself as a person with courage. It's not easy to follow Jesus sometimes. I seem to always find myself making the difficult decision between obeying him or appeasing man. I used to be the worse kind of people-pleaser. I had a bad habit of apologizing to everyone that disliked or found-fault in me. I struggled with wanting to be accepted since my childhood. It started at home with my own siblings. It was easy to beat me down verbally. I have always been sensitive to others feeling. I couldn't deliberately verbally wound my siblings. I have lost many verbal disagreement. It was easy to make me the villain. I accepted the role without question. Like any abused person I believed it was my fault. That somehow I could be a better person.
Imagine my surprise every time Abba takes my side. Which is most every time someone comes up against me. Him the God of all of creation justifies me. Me, the one that justice alluded for most of my life. I still have to fight believing the lies spoken against me. I have to refuse to be that abused little girl. I have had to stop apologizing for being who Abba made me. It not always easy. If you hear negative words long enough, you'll start believing them.
I recently went through a very trying time with someone close to me. During the time I first learned of it I heard the Lord speak to me, "I have your back." I said to myself, "What now?!" I just want my life to be simple. I want to love and be loved. Jesus didn't say that the world would love us. On the contrary He said the world would hate us. Even though the person profess to be a Christian, her devotion is questionable at times. I'm not judging, trust me I can't judge anyone. I can judge others behavior though, how else can you know them by their fruit?
Abba told me what to do in the situation, but I hesitated, mainly because I was concerned what someone (another person involved) would think of me. For three or four days the Holy Spirit nudged me. I finally gave in. The one small seemingly insufficient thing changed the course of the situation. Even though all the hounds of hell seemed to be unleashed against me. I was lied on, talked about, things were said to discredit me. I was yelled at and told that I shouldn't have done the very thing I was instructed by the Holy Spirit to do. Although I knew better I, as I often do started to question my actions. Was I "Out of order?"
I had to repent for not being obedient those first few days. I know I wasn't obeying the voice of my God. I was more concerned with the comfort of my flesh. Abba told me I should always, bring those thought captive. Anytime you hesitate or tell yourself "this can't be Abba, it must be me." to avoid uncomfortable confrontation or rejection, it's the voice of your flesh. Abba already knew what would happen. He had also already let me know He was on my side. I like that He speaks to me in a language the ghetto girl that I am understands. "I have your back." It means, I'm on your side and I won't let any enemy jump you from the behind or overtake you. It means He's faithful. He upholds me with the right hand of His righteousness. I'm still find the thought of being so completely loved unbelievable. Me, the one that everybody else rejected, being accepted, not only accepted, but desired. I'm the apple of His eye and that knowledge fills my eyes with tears.
When Abba speaks a word to you, hold on to it for dear life. He's faithful to do exactly what He promises(Over and over). He knows we can be fearful, uncertain. He's not worried. He will never lose control. He can get through all those thoughts that scream at us from our past. He told me I was more honorable than the other person. Me, honorable in the sight of My God. Who would have thought it?
Fearless
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:)
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