Friday, January 14, 2011

The Great Transgression

Psalms 19:12 Who can understand his errors? cleanse thou me from secret faults.
Psalms 19:13 Keep back thy servant also from presumptuous sins; let them not have dominion over me: then shall I be upright, and I shall be innocent from the great transgression.
Psalms 19:14 Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.

I attend a Friday night worship service. We call our meeting "One New Man Arising," We are Jews and Gentile coming together to worship; Jesus having broken down the wall of partition between us and made into himself one new man. I have been with them for five years, we are not perfect people, though outwardly whole inwardly we're not.  We come together like the lame, blind and the leper seeking Jesus. Each searching for love and acceptance; looking for our place in a world that has little tolerance for differences.

We come from all walks of life and background, professionally and personally I have little in common with any of them. I am one of two black women in the congregation the other being a dentist.  I dropped out of college. We're the only blacks. The other black women asked my to read a piece that I blogged that I named "Never Alone Martin," in memory of Martin Luther King Jr. being that tomorrow is his birthday-I gladly said yes.

I read my piece with shaking hands and throbbing heart mainly because I don't share my heartache and struggles as much in the meeting as I do on my blog. After I was finished reading the room got deathly quiet. I wrote about prejudice and pain. It's easier for me to have strangers in far away cities peer into the dark and secret places of my soul. I like to believe that would make any rejection and judgment less painful. It doesn't!

Tonight during worship I looked around at everyone there. Everyone's eyes were closed in adoration of our Heavenly Father no one paid attention to my observation. I looked at one young lady totally immersed in worship; last year during worship every time her eyes closed her face would fill with tears. She was going through a painful separation from her husband. Her sadness filled my heart and I would go to comfort her, we became one in her sorrow,  like Jesus I shared in her suffering.

Every face I looked upon a different memory came to me. We have seen each other through so much. The death of our fathers, loss of jobs, sickness, our pastors moving to Israel, delinquency and alcohol trying to rob us of our children. We are broken people bringing our fragmented hearts as a offering to our Heavenly Father, and each other. Our love is not perfect; it's sometimes zigzag and jaded.

As the meeting ended tonight the other black women read Psalms 19:12-14 and said we should all search our hearts that she believed there was prejudice among us and that she had discovered some in herself and she thinks that prejudice might be "THE GREAT TRANSGRESSION." The thought of that makes me so sad. I certainly don't want anything That sinister and insidious hiding inside of me or the people I love. I think God made color differences just to see how many of us would get beyond it, and see him in each other. He remembers our frames and knows we're but dust. There's no superior dust. These bodies are just a place he chose to put his spirit to mock his enemy. He put his spirit in dust and made us his children. We are the children of the MOST HIGH GOD. Each uniquely different and precious in his sight.


Fearless

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