28 Jesus said to them, “Most certainly I tell you that you who have followed me, in the regeneration when the Son of Man will sit on the throne of his glory, you also will sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. 29 Everyone who has left houses, or brothers, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name’s sake, will receive one hundred times, and will inherit eternal life. 30 But many will be last who are first; and first who are last.
I remember when I was first told to leave Michigan. My first three grandchildren were toddlers. I fit my work schedule around them so that I would have three days a week with them. I love them so much. When Jesus told me to forsake all others and leave them I cried. My mom got manipulative and angry that I was leaving, my son just got angry. I left anyway. Jesus has the last say.
Now more than a decade later I'm sent back. My mom is still manipulative. She tries to guilt me into whatever she desire me to do. I have grown up in Christ, though. I have watched over His lamb and His sheep. I know when I'm being manipulated and I will call it out. I will never disrespect my mom, however, I told her she would make the perfect Jewish mom trying to guilt trip me will no longer work. That always stop her.
My son is another story. He tries to manipulate with anger. He never got over the fact that I cut those apron strings. Lately, we talked about it. He finally got it out of His system. He said, "mama all I ever wanted was you, I use sit in the window waiting for you to come home." A lot of the time I didn't. I told him I'm sorry, I was too messed up as a young woman. I love him and I always have. He really did deserve a full-time mom. Since then I have watched a transformation in him. I have been apologizing to him for thirty years, but he never told his side of the story. Maybe he thought I couldn't handle his truth. I knew it, I caused it.
The rest of my family in Michigan can be a hand full. I never saw people as mean and entitled in one family. Except in the family of Christ. I don't know how many times I've said to Jesus, I can't with them, not my family. He told me His family is the same way and He puts up with them. Ouch.
I love my family, but they are worrying my mom. She has a baby brother my same age. She's really like a mother to him and he and I grew up together. He acts like he's twelve. He's a diabetic who refuse to do right. I had to take him to the hospital the other day. The doctor said he was stroke and coma level, his kidneys are failing and he has to get himself together. I left the hospital in tears. The next day he left the hospital against medical advice. He walked to my cousin house without a coat and still disorientated. When he made it here last night I told him, "I shed my last tear for you and if you want to die, make your peace with Jesus. I want to collect insurance. I will not pass the hat for you." He laughed, but I'm serious.
I have to stay focused in the midst of chaos. I never thought I would have to follow Christ back to my family, it's different with this group of misfits, our is it?
Fearless
1 comment:
:)
Post a Comment